Creepypasta OCs Advice + Reviews

Abigail Campbell

This is the sixth review in this book, we're on a roll. Thanks for all of you who have sent in OCs, I really appreciate and enjoy reviewing your works! This was made by the lovely DiamondFazbear , go check out their stories! Now let's get into their character.

Name: Abigail Campbell
This name really has a ring to it, sounds great!
Creepypasta name: The Tipper
I'm guessing you chose this because of her hat, it makes sense. I thought of a cow tipper at first but now I get where you're coming from.
Catchphrase: Doesn't have one
A killer doesn't need one to be good!
Proxy?: No
Again, yup, you don't need to be a proxy to be a good OC.
Age: 27
Older than most OCs, great pick here
Gender: Female
(👌)
Sexuality: Homosexual
Yessssssssss~
Species: ??? (Possibly demon but I haven't confirmed that)
No worries, take your time to decide.
Race: um. She's not human though, so idk XD American? I guess? Idk XD
This is something that you should decide, however. If you don't know, then don't make up a random one with an "Idk XD". Sorry if that sounded overly harsh, it was not supposed to if it did! ❤️ Also, a race is different from a nationality and species, as you seem a bit confused. Not being human doesn't affect your race, and American is a nationality, while African American is a race. This is fine though, try and decide on one in the meantime.
Killing style: She tips her tophat, and a knife comes flying out. If that doesn't work out she tries to use the closest thing near her to kill in any way.
How does that work?? I'm curious, does she tip her hat and all of the sudden psHeW, the knife just goes flying?! If so, I'm assuming that is because she's not human and has slight abilities to control that...I'm not too sure, a small explanation would be appreciated. The backup sounds very rational though.
Why do they kill?: She doesn't have an official backstory yet, so this hasn't been decided. (Please don't hate me >.<)
No hate man, it's fine! This section is just to say their motive for killing and if you don't have that yet, don't stress, it's completely fine.
Personality: Calm, quiet, serious
I do have a tiny issue with this, it's so short! Three words don't equal any true personality. While this character is a work in progress, I do highly advise choosing more than three basic words to describe your character's entire demeanour, motives, and basically everything important to the development of your OC. At least two sentences is an OK length, so please expand on this, as it doesn't mean much yet.
If you're having trouble, try putting down your meanings for these traits and why she is like this.
Mental health status: I mean, fine? She kills people though, so I meannnnn..
Since I updated this form, I may have caused a bit of confusion. In this section, you can state any mental illnesses or extra whatnot things for your OC, of course they're not totally mentally healthy. Though, killers aren't usually totally insane so don't push yourself into stating otherwise. That's on me though, this is good!
Physical description: She wears a black top hat with a magenta stripe, magenta heels (might be boots later on), a magenta long flowy dress, slightly tan skin, lots of freckles, one red eye, one blue eye (will probably change later on)
There are three things here that I suggest changing, the dress, eyes, and footwear. The dress and footwear sounds nice but I don't think a killer would be wearing a dress of all things, nor heels. They aren't very...intelligent clothing choices for Abigail's "occupation". Maybe give her something a bit more protective to tone down the borderline flamboyance (basically, she sounds a bit too fancy and stand out-ish). For the eyes, please don't use the heterochromia trope. Yeah, I guess it's visually intriguing and Abigail isn't human, but that isn't an excuse for painfully unrealistic eyes. She already stands out a bit too much, you should almost always stick with normal eyes. Other than that small cliché, the freckles are unique as is the hat.
Height: 5'7
Taller...thank the west skies for you not deciding on making her short.
Weight: 138 lbs.
Again, a very realistic weight.
Physical health status: Healthy? I guess?
You guess? Well, is she or isn't she?
Family members: Christopher Campbell (Father, dead) Alicia Campbell (Mother, dead) Katie Campbell (Younger sister, dead)
Since you don't have a backstory, there's not much to say on this. I hope for an explanation as to why they're all dead, until then I'll stay neutral. The names aren't super basic though, you did a good job with her little things.
Allies: One of my other OCs. Other then that, no one.
Another OC is a safe ally, so this is good.
Enemies: No one
Still good.
Abilities/powers: She has teleportation powers.
Alright, a reasoning for this would be pleasing, but there isn't really an issue here.
Skills: She's really good at being quiet which is good if she's stalking someone.
Sneaky sneaky cheeky sneaky~
Weapons: Knife hidden in her tophat
Knives are usually seen as a red flag, but this is very well used.
Strengths: Very quiet (probably more will be added)
*screech* fight me, I'll show you how being loud is great...haha no, this is creative.
Weaknesses: Has a soft spot for kids. Won't kill babies or young children (newborn-2)
I won't ask for a clarification in the backstory, as this is a simple yet genuine weakness.
Backstory: Doesn't have an official backstory yet, still working on it.
My man, or woman, that's fine.

Overall: This OC has many strong points, such as her age and many balanced, realistic aspects to her. Though something that could be toned down is her appearance, and I also highly recommend majorly expanding on her personality. Her personality is very basic and I didn't truly get anything from it, so please expand it a considerable amount and tweak her looks to be a bit more rational and blend in more. You seem to be currently working on this OC, so I'll cut you slack on that considering this is an assumed work in progress. In the meantime, expand on her overall character and this'll turn out honestly amazing!
Thanks for submitting, hope you benefitted. See you in the next chapter!