Olivia's Story

Chapter 12

I'm so happy it is the last week of school.

Me and Trever been talking everyday since the day we saw each other at the mall. That's over a month ago. He's really cool and funny and sweet. We might get together. I don't know yet. He asked me out and I told him that I had to think about it.

Me and Cali are still cool. She haven't tried to jump me or set me up or anything like that. She might actually be my friend. If so she's my first real friend.

This teacher is so boring. I'm trying my best to stay up. Fuck it. I laid my head down and drifted off.

...

I sat up quickly breathing hard. Tears were running down my face. I looked around and everyone was looking at me. I'm so embarrassed.

I grabbed my stuff and ran out of the room. I ran down the hall through the doors to the stairs.

I stood there and cried. I never had a dream like that before, never. It was horrible.

I don't know what to do.

I went through my bag and found a pencil sharpener. I took the screw out and grabbed the blade. I looked at my arm and put the blade to it. I pushed down and dragged it across my wrist slowly as I cried. "No!", I heard Trever say as the doors closed. I looked at him as he ran towards me. He took the blade from me. I tried to stop him but I couldn't.

"Give it back!", I cried reaching for it.

"No Olivia, I won't let you hurt yourself. Look.", he said pointing to the floor. I looked down. Blood is dripping from my hand to the floor. I took my button up from around my waist and dropped it over the blood.

He took his shirt off and wrapped it around my wrist. Man he got a body. "You used to cut.", he said. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I just looked down and cried.

I bet he don't want me now. I had a feeling that this would mess my chances up of getting in a relationship. "Hey.", he said picking my head up. "It's okay." I hugged him and cried, he hugged me back and rubbed my back. "It's okay. I understand how you feel." I snatched away from him.

How do he understand how I feel. He haven't been through half of the shit I been through. "You do not understand how I feel because you have no idea what I've been through!", I said.

"You're right, I'm sorry. Just calm down, okay?" I didn't say anything. I just need a hug. I hugged him tightly and closed my eyes, he hugged me back. Being in his arms feel so good. I can get used to this.

...

I walked home earlier before the school day ended and cleaned myself up. I would've drove home but I crashed my car. Somebody knocked on my bedroom door. It gotta be my momma. "Come in.", I said. She came in.

"Hey, you alright?", she asked. No. I tried to say 'yes' but I started crying.

"I slipped up."

"What do you mean you slipped up?"

"I cut myself. I had a really bad dream momma. Please don't send my back.", I cried.

"Shh.", she said hugging me. "Talk to me."

"Momma it felt like it was happening again, everything. It was horrible." I stated crying harder and shaking. She talked to me and calmed me down.

...

I don't feel safe alone so I'm about to go lay with my momma if she lets me.

I went to her room and knocked on her door. "Come in.", she said. I opened her door.

"Mommy can I sleep with you?", I asked softly.

"Come on baby." I walked in, closed her door and got in bed with her. I slowly drifted off.