Starscream's Secret

Twenty-seven

Starscream watched as Arcee let everyone in. She saw them carrying a large Cybertronian between the four of them. Her intakes stalled and her spark pulsed slightly with pain. She grasped her chestplate with one servo. She stood up from where she was sitting.

Arcee barely noticed Starscream move.

Ratchet spoke up. "Arcee! Give Bumblebee a hand. We need to get this mech to a berth immediately! We got to get him warmed up, and I've got to see what all needs replacing."

Arcee ran over and helped after turning the ground bridge off.

All four mechs and one femme got the large mech into the med bay for repairs and got him quite a few heating mesh blankets and heaters themselves to get him warmed up. None noticed Starscream slowly walkimg behind them.

When Starscream was in the med bay, she tried to get a glimpse of the Cybertronian. Sadly everyone was in the way at the moment.

Luckily, Bumblebee, Bulkhead, and Arcee moved to get out of Ratchet's way.

Starscream's optics widened when she seen the mech. She backed up and almost hit the wall. She slowly sank to the floor as she tried to think carefully. Her body shook as she realized that she could have looked for him years ago.

Optimus turned away from the berth ready to tell his team to leave the room to give Ratchet space. The first thing he noticed as odd was Starscream in the corner next to the door, on the floor, trembling and staring at the mech on the berth. He walked over to her, kneeling down in front of her to keep her gaze off the immobile mech. "Starscream?"

Starscream flinched when he spoke. She shuttered her optics for a second before focusing on Optimus, still trembling.

Optimus gently touched Starscream's arm. "Are you alright Starscream?" He asked, genuine worry in his bright blue optics.

Starscream swallowed before speaking. "I...is he... alive?"

Optimus nodded. "Ratchet said he'd need repairs but he will live."

Starscream choked on a sob, trying not to cry. "N... noone believed me... they all thought... H... how is he... alive?"

Optimus vented. "He was frozen for a very long time. Do you know him Starscream?"

Starscream nodded as she curled into a ball hugging her legs close as she continued to tremble in shock and terror. She mumbled to herself, lost in thought. "He's alive... it's all my fault! I should've came back... I should've forced someone to listen... then he'd be... It's all my fault... it's all my fault..."

Optimus gently pulled Starscream up and into his arms so he could bring her to a place cleared of anyone around to witness her meltdown. He walked them outside to let her wings catch some wind for comfort. He rubbed her back and wings to calm down after he sat them both down on the ground.

Starscream cried in his arms, finally letting go of bottled up emotions. She held onto his chassis with her claw like digits.

Optimus continued to comfort her in the only way her knew, from the Iacon library from before he was a prime. He only hoped it would be enough to help Starscream.

Starscream slowly relaxed in his arms as he continued to soothe her broken spark. She wiped her faceplates with the mesh blanket still around her somehow. She hiccuped as she laid in Optimus prime's arms. She no longer cared what anyone would think of her if they saw her the way she was.

Optimus spoke softly. "Starscream? That mech in there... you knew him didn't you? Why do you... feel such guilt over his current condition?"

Starscream vented before staring at the desert keeping her helm on his neck cabling. She didn't know why but she felt safer and right at home as he held her. Maybe it was her mind and spark playing tricks on her. She started to answer Optimus. "He... he's... Sky...fire." She let it sink in. "All this time... I thought... he was dead after the first vorn."

Optimus rubbed Starscream's wing still. "He's here now though Starscream. We will help him and take care of him. You do not need to feel this guilt in yiu anymore." He tilted her head up with one servo to make her look at him. "It is better to let go of the guilt. You love him don't you?"

Starscream hiccuped. "I... I don't know if he'll love me after he finds out... I... I've changed Optimus. He'll hate me. I did the one thing he would never do. I killed... I killed so many... How... how could he ever love a monster like me?" Tears fell down her faceplates as she spoke her worries. Her spark would always hurt when she thought of her Skyfire. She wasn't even sure if she could love him after all that she did. He was still so... innocent. Untouched by the war she helped create. It just didn't feel right to her anymore. She didn't deserve his innocence. His love.

Optimus could see the war of emotions fighting for control on Starscream's faceplates. The way she spoke... it made him feel that she was losing hope of surviving her pregnancy. He stopped rubbing circles into her wings so she would fully listen to him. "Starscream, you do deserve love. You deserve forgiveness.  But most of all, you deserve peace. If Skyfire cannot accept you then you are welcome to choose another to love and be loved by. This is my only wish for you. If we are able to return to Cybertron back to the way it should be, then you will have your peace along with so mant others that I know are tired of this war."

Starscream listened to him. She understood now. She would follow her spark and let it choose, but until then she would wait for Skyfire to awaken. For now though... she would just have to let herself be happy with Optimus holding her close as she fell into recharge once more. All she could do, was hope for the future to be bright.

Optimus let her as he watched the clouds shift in the sky.