exo imagines {closed}

Chensel and Kaitel [Chen] for @kpopcrazyy

[The contents in this story are based on the fairytale 'Hansel and Gretel'. Due to respect for copyright, the plot will share similar traits but the general story will not be the same.]

Once upon a time, there lived two brothers, Chensel and Kaitel. One would be inclined to wonder how they got such quirky names but even the boys themselves did not know. They were orphans, apparently abandoned since young. The duo had gotten along fairly well, picking up spare change from the streets, begging for hot bread fresh from the oven. 

One day, as they were strolling in the park, a trail of food appeared in front of their very eyes. "Kaitel ah! Look! Baozi!" Chensel yelled, jumping up and down excitedly. When Kaitel looked towards the ground, he saw only a pack of bacon. 

"Chensel, you're such a troll," He rolled his eyes, picking up the beautifully wrapped bacon, slipping it inside his cloth bag.

"Oh yeah, and you're a barbecued chicken," Chensel was too tired to argue. 

The two of them followed the trail of food, finding lollipops, sweets and gingerbread on the way. As they ventured towards the forest, the trail ended at the doorstep of a mysterious looking house. Smoke was coming out of the chimney, and a strange chant was audible. 

"Careless, careless, shoot anonymous, anonymous. Heartless, mindless, no one care about me!" A deep voice rang out, making the usually brave Kaitel shiver in fear, cowering behind Chensel.

"How are you going to marry that girl at school if you're such a coward?" Chensel pushed him away roughly.

"W-What girl?"

"Oh, you know who I'm talking about. That girl, Do Kyungsoo."

Kaitel turned a shade of crimson, bowing his head sheepishly. Meanwhile, the door to the house swung open and the voice boomed, "Come in."

As they entered, their eyes were met by an unusually lanky man pretending to mix something inside a gigantic cooking pot. A too-small witch hat was perched on his head, and he had painted his nails a sickly green. Perhaps he did bear some resemblance to a witch, but one close look, and you could tell the difference.

"I am the Grand Witch of the Galaxy, Kris the Great!" He raised his broomstick, which just looked like an ordinary broomstick to Chensel and Kaitel. 

"You're not a real witch!" Chensel blurted out accidentally, earning him a glare from Kris.

"Allow me to demonstrate. Here we have...a...a singing bacon!" Kaitel sat up upon hearing this. If bacon could sing, it would be beyond amazing!

The door opened, and steam whooshed out from the side. Another boy stepped out from the shadows, singing, "Modeungol geolgo neol deurikin nan, ije dorikilsudo eopda~"

"How is that a bacon?" Kaitel muttered, shocked. 

Seeing that the two were not appeased, Kris exclaimed, "And now, the twins that look alike! I used my magic to create duplicates!"

Another two boys stepped out. They looked alike, if not for the fact that one wore a poker face and the other was smiling angelically. 

"Seen twins before," Chensel nudged Kaitel. 

"And for my last invention, a girl! A beautiful girl with gorgeous eyes!"

"Whatever," A young girl was seated on a wooden barstool, swinging her legs gaily in the air.

"Kyungsoo?!" Kaitel's eyes widened, "You live here?"

"He's my dad," Kyungsoo uttered bashfully, gesturing to Kris.

As Kaitel was about to say something snappy to garner attention, a woman entered the room. She wore an apron with panda motifs on it, panda bedroom slippers and a black and white shirt just like that of a panda. To call her panda crazy was an understatement.

"Kris dear, don't you think it's time to stop pretending to be a witch? You're frightening the children, don't you know?" She spoke softly, caressing her childrens' cheeks as she passed by them. 

"U-Uh honey, I was just poking fun at them," Kris answered guiltily before noticing the look on his wife's face, "I'll buy you Gucci later. sweetie."

Chensel and Kaitel fled the house, trying to get as far away from it as possible, but the face of Kris, the panda obsessed wife, the fraternal twins, the 'singing bacon' and Kyungsoo overshadowed all happy thoughts. 

---------------------------------

It's my very first attempt at writing crack, so please give feedback! I don't think it's funny enough, because I still feel rather sad after writing all the angst yesterday ;-;

This is based on Hansel and Gretel and has been requested by @kpopcrazyy :) I'll see if I can work in another update today. Perhaps not.

~Edaline