Build-A-Boyfriend

21

"Forgive me fair maiden, thy errant lover has not graced the path of mine eye in many days."

"So basically," I sigh, "You haven't seen Harry?"

"I only wish I could assist..." Louis' voice trails off and for a moment I think the phone line has been disconnected.

"A QUEST!" He yells suddenly.

He screams the words so loudly into my eardrum that I'm temporarily deafened.

"Fear not, fair lady!" He booms into the phone. "I shall sail forth and retrieve your prince from the clutches of evil! I shall-"

"Ya know, it's cool. He's probably just angry and upset and-"

"Evil gathers all around! I shall assemble a band of brave-hearted, noble men to join me on this quest to rescue our brother!"

"What have I done." I groan. "Can you make sure these brave-hearted, noble men don't include Juan in the ranks?"

"I shall gather all those who are worthy! All those who will stand under the banner of brotherhood and-"

I slowly replace the phone in its cradle and hang up.

Marvellous.
Wonderful.

Harry has gone AWOL and isn't replying to my texts.

I have no idea where he slept last night.

Jenna has updated her Facebook status to 'In relationship'.

Charlie won't answer my messages.

The ball is tomorrow night.

And to top it all off, Louis is now going to assemble a band of crazy people to search for Harry.

Oh and yes, yes thank you Dave. You taking a gigantic poo in your litter tray in this moment of ultra high stress is exactly what I needed. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Dave has managed to product a smell so toxic that it kills part of my soul, but as I clear it up I try to prioritise.

The most important thing here is Harry. I need to talk to him and if I'm honest with myself, there's only one place he is. I'm going to have to swallow my pride and call Jenna.

I'm just contemplating this when my phone flashes up with an unknown caller.

"Hello?"

A low chuckle sounds down the line.

"You act so innocent don't you, baby girl?"

"Um... Who is this?"

"It's me. Zayn."

Zayn?

Zayn... Ohhhh Zayn. The bad boy who isn't actually that bad from the dream factory.

"What do you want?" I roll my eyes, still struggling to sweep around Dave's litter tray.

"I want to know what you've done with Harry"

"What? I'm-"

"See the thing is baby girl, we're not so different you and me. I see darkness in you. You try to always be the perfect girl. Always bring home good grades and the nice little boy. Inside, you're just like me, baby girl. And you know it. That's what scares you."

"What the fúck are you talking about?" I shake my head. "Are you on drugs kid?"

"Ha. I know you better than you know yourself baby girl-"

"Call me baby girl one more time and I'll break your legs."

There's a silence on the other end of the line.