Build-A-Boyfriend

26

Naturally, the first thing I did on Monday morning was march into the council office to speak with the organisers of the marathon to explain that I had to drop out. There was no other option, there's no way I could compete in a bloody marathon.

I didn't bet on Harry's secret weapon though.

The Grannies.

It was as I was storming past the library that Harry spotted me and ran out from his coffee morning to grab me. He pulled me inside eagerly and to my absolute horror, his 20 granny besties started clapping loudly. The couple of them that can stand unaided actually got to their feet to cheer me.
They insisted I sit down and Harry almost scalded himself, so eager was he to pour me a cup of tea. He's been dying to get me to come to the coffee morning for ages. His bright, happy face beamed at me between all the lined ones.

It transpires that the Grannies are regular contributors to the cat shelter and often try to raise money for them. One old lady tells me in a tremulous voice that no one ever, ever chooses the cat shelter to represent at these events and they were overwhelmed that I want to run for them. She actually pats a floral handkerchief to her eyes.

Shit.

I stare around at all the happy, wrinkled faces. Harry, amongst them, gives me a huge grin and cheery thumbs up, just as the lady next to me presses a sweet into my hand and pats my arm, thanking me for being so thoughtful and kind.

**

I'm up at 4:30 the next day.

I can do this, I've just got to train. I jog over to the kitchen and pour myself a large kale and cabbage smoothie. I made it last night and it's sitting in the fridge like a bowl of pond swamp.
I stare down at it for a minute before steeling myself and taking a large mouthful.

Oh shít.

Oh my god that is disgusting.

I gag three times before I managed to swallow the cold, thick gunk. I eye the large glass I've poured myself, wincing when I notice that I've only had a small amount.

You know what, that should actually be enough. Surely a mouthful should do it.
I've just picked it up to shove it back in the fridge when Harry appears, looking completely alert and ready to face the day.

"Ah, breakfast! Thanks." He grins and takes the green sludge off me, drinking it in several gulps. "Wow! That was delicious! Just what I needed, thanks Hendrix." He rinses his glass and holds put his hand to take mine. "Let's get going then champion."

Speaking of delicious, I've got used to my morning McDonald's. I stare at it mournfully as we pass. Harry wants us to run together but I insist that I train better when I know it's a race. He stares at me knowingly.

"Ha! I bet you just don't want to embarrass me, waiting for me to catch up, do you?" He smiles ruefully, shaking his head.

"You got me." I say weakly.

"Right then. I'll go as fast as I can Hendrix, just so you're not waiting too long in the cold." With a little wave he sets off at what I consider to be an incredibly fast pace. I wait until he's out of sight before jogging in the direction of the park.

I say jogging... It's more of a trot... A sort of slow trot that you could actually just call a walk.

Right here we are. The edge of the park gates. I haven't been in this park much but I know it's huge, the perfect place to start. I do a few star jumps and a bit of stretching, warming myself up before I dive in. I start at a moderate jog, building to bursts of speed. I've been going about 5 minutes when I get a deep stitch in my side. I hobble over to the nearest bench and flop down, cringing when I look back and see how little distance I've covered.