Build-A-Boyfriend

41

The room is utter chaos. Harry has been shouting at Charlie and Dr P for the past ten minutes and everyone keeps ducking due to the fact that Louis is stood on a chair behind Harry, excitedly swinging his sword around.

I can't stop staring at the girl. After the first initial shock, you can actually tell quite easily that it's not me. Her eyes are different and she doesn't have freckles over nose. Most of all, Charlie, the creep, has added an impressive set of boobs and big bum.

Dr P is trying to calm the situation but Louis- who is enjoying himself far to much- is loudly demanding that Charlie present his arse for a fierce licking.

"What on earth have you done?"

Despite the noise around us, Charlie raises his head from his hands to look at me directly.

"... I... When I started to investigate the factory Dr Henderson offered me a free sample to keep quiet." He says weakly.

"And you took it." I snap bitterly, ducking as Louis leaps on to the chair behind me, singing gallantly.

"You can hardly talk! You obviously fell over yourself to buy Harry!"

"He was already made! I felt like I couldn't leave him and I've nearly gone bankrupt to keep him free! Anyway, I didn't make him look like anyone I already knew, creep." I hiss these last words, but the effect is ruined slightly by the rousing crescendo of Louis' song and my own realisation that as he straddles two chairs his codpiece is dangerously close to the back of my head.

"At least I didn't pay all that money for a pair of weirdos." Charlie mutters smugly, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest.

I'm about to make some sarcastic comment when I glanced over to the other 'me'. She's staring round in confusion and my mind snaps back to Harry when he first came out of the pod.

"I just can't believe you'd do this!" I shake my head in disbelief. "It's so creepy..."

Charlie turns away from me but a blush crawls up his cheeks. What a coward. I'm just about to let him know what I think of him when it occurs to me that general chaos of the room has quietened to just Louis' gleeful shouting, which surely can't be a good sign.

"Onwards, fair brother! Hold the squirming dog by his foul neck until his lungs doth scream for the sweet caress of oxygen! Squeeze his vile face with all of your might-"

Harry has Dr P in headlock as Louis dances around them, shouting advice and encouragement and jabbing his sword at alarming random intervals.

"Oh no! Harry!" I stand quickly, almost stumbling over the coffee table to get to Dr P and Harry. Both Harry and Louis see me coming and attempt to block with me with seemingly little regard for the doctors neck. It takes several minutes of twisting and manoeuvring to free a very disgruntled Dr P.

As the doctor gulps a lungful of air and pushes a manicured hand through his messy hair, Harry steps back, scowling at him.

"You're lucky I didn't get round to licking your arse properly." He says fiercely.

"What?" Dr P gapes up at him, obviously wondering if he's misheard.

"I said-"

"Ok Harry!" I interject loudly. "Let's all sit down and sort this out." It takes a little while as both Louis and Harry are in a great state of excitement. Once we're all sat down I take a deep sigh and look up. To my dismay, I'm directly facing the perfect version of me. She narrows her eyes as she appraises me and I wonder what she's thinking.

"Model Td5578 is only a trial model with a three month warranty." Dr P says quickly, grabbing a handful of notes that have been scattered all over the floor in the struggle. He still sounds breathless and his hair is stuck up at odd angles. He sits heavily, as far away from Harry as possible.