Build-A-Boyfriend

22

"Uhhh... Guys?"

Robert is brushing my hair into an elaborate style and as I try to pull my head away he slaps the side of my head with the back of his brush. "Keep still!" He snarls.

"Ow!" I glare up at him murderously and he retaliates by prodding a hair grip into my scalp with unnecessary force.

Louis tuts loudly and grips my hand tighter as he applies the second coat of nail varnish.

"I'm not actually sure that I want to go-"

"You have no choice my lady!" Louis retorts. There's a manic gleam in his eyes that is scaring me slightly.

This is ridiculous. Niall is 'helping' by sending me reiki from the corner of the room (although I think he's actually just fallen asleep tbh) and Zayn is watching us with a smirk on his face. He looks at me thoughtfully before speaking;

"You know what I don't get?"

"How not be a greasy sleaze ball?" Robert mutters.

I'm so surprised that Robert has actually cracked a joke that my eyes widen in surprise. He shrugs and I see the corners of his mouth lift into a little smile.

"What I don't get..." Zayn goes on, toying with his cigarette pack. "Is how this girl knows that goody two-shoes was a virgin. I mean, it's hardly the sort of thing you announce randomly, is it?"

"You don't know Harry very well." I grimace. That's exactly the sort of thing I could imagine Harry innocently announcing to someone.

"Maybe you need a real man baby girl." Zayn begins to grin but as he spots the scowl on my face he backs off, pouting to himself.

Robert holds a mirror up to show me my hair. It actually looks gorgeous, hes teased it into soft curls, not something I could ever be bothered to do to myself.

"It's amazing! Wow... Maybe you should think about becoming a hairdresser!"

"Susan likes me to style her hair." He says sullenly. "I do it while she's asleep."

Ok that's not super weird.

We all stare at Robert.

"Right!" Louis claps so loudly that Niall jumps from his slouched position on his stool and falls on to the floor. I knew he was asleep. "Did everyone bring their chosen garment for the maid?"

"What?" I frown.

"Little Lord Farquad here made us all go shopping this morning." Zayn rolls his eyes and points at Louis. "Told us to pick out a dress for you so you could choose, baby g-" He grits his teeth to stop himself as I raise an eyebrow.

"I shall present my choice to the sweet lady first!" Louis shouts gleefully. He's enjoying this whole process of getting dressed up far more than anyone else is. He grabs a large bag he brought with him and begins to haul out a dress. He lays it over his arms so that we can see it fully.

At first, I wonder where he has got a ladies medieval dress complete with pointy hat from, before it hits me.
A fancy dress shop.

"That's...""

"Hideous." Zayn drawls. Niall sniggers. Louis gazes round at them, confused.

"Does the lady approve of the gown?"

"Uhh..." I stare at the deep-red crushed velvet dress. "It's certainly something."

"Excellent!" Louis beams. "Come now Niall, don't be shy!"