TO HAVE & TO HOLD-Sequel of Catch Me I'm In Love

Chapter 30 - Destiny?

After her chance meeting with Erik last night, or was it destiny? Roan thought, she was a little proud of herself that she didn’t fully let her guard down in front of Erik.

She didn’t say much after Erik broke down and professed his love to her. She just told him thank you for taking her back to her hotel. She didn’t make any promises to him, she didn’t tell him anything.

She saw that Erik was both relieved and sad to see her again. He was keeping the guilt of abandoning their love because of his lack of trust in her. Roan admits she’s still hurt, she thought she was fully healed, but there was still that glimmer of pain whenever she remembers it - of what happened in the Philippines.

Matthew repeatedly tried to reach out to her, he doesn’t have any fault, he was just a victim like her- of Cassandra’s craziness. She chose not to have anything to do with Matthew. She somehow felt defensive around men.

During her year-long stay in Paris – several men tried to court her or make her feel special. 

She just didn’t want any of it – their attention. She was trying to forget Erik then, but she always miserably failed.

Until now.   As much as Roan wanted to rekindle what they had before, what they still have right now – she wasn’t ready.

She wasn’t ready to risk getting hurt again. She wants to make sure she is ready for it again, and that there will be no misunderstandings and doubts.

She knew how Erik felt, she knew he loves her still, he just said it. He didn’t have to say it, but he did.

He was sorry, he has been miserable. He seemed to age a little, but it fits him. He looked more mature, more stable emotionally, too.

She accepted Erik’s apologies.   

But she didn’t want to start all over again yet. It was so fast, she didn’t expect to see him the first night she is New York. 

She knew he was there but fate seem to be toying with them again. Playing Cupid.   She wanted to be strong, to appear unaffected when she sees him again.

But she can’t help it, she cried when she saw him crying, apologizing to her. 

But that’s all there is to it for now, until she can’t resist him anymore - how long she doesn’t know.