OUT - What happened to us? (Camren)

Chapter 3

The first performance as a solo artist felt highly intimidating. On the backstage, Camila was about to have an anxiety crisis. She had performed multiple times, but never as a solo artist and that pressure was taking over her head. Besides, it was an award, everyone was waiting for that, there were a lot of cameras recording the event and millions of people would watch her.

Everything had to be perfect. Camila was all dressed up when her mother found her rehearsaling her steps once again at her dressing room. Sinu stopped for a moment at the door watching her daughter, she didn't think it was right to interrupt her. God knew why she was doing that, perhaps she needed.

- Oh my God, you're there! - Camila said in a fast rhythm, a common thing of hers, and stopped what she was doing. She laughed softly as she stared at her mom.

- Yes, I'm here. - Sinu answered, holding her arms crossed against her chest and resting her back on the wall.

- I can't forget anything. - She explained.

- You won't, you're great at this. - She pointed out with a genuine smile on her face.

- Thanks, mom. - She said in a very sweet and honest way. - Gotta start from the top, I've forgotten my last moves. - The girl with brown eyes laughed lightly even though she was nervous and went back to her rehearsal. 

Very sofly, she sang the lyrics written by herself and practiced every move she'd have to make in a few minutes. Sinu didn't even move, in fact she barely blinked as she watched her daughter. It was satisfying to see Camila so focused into something she was so passionated about. Her love for music was inspiring and contagious. Sinu started singing along with the beautiful human being she gave birth to and when the performer noticed her mom's voice following her lyrics she sang louder. Camila's voice needed no music to sound like a masterpiece, her voice imposed the rhythm in such a way it was possible to feel it. Sinu started moving and soon that moment belonged to both of them. Instead of simply practicing the routine, Camila allowed herself to dance freely with the woman who brought her to the world. Their laughing was a consequence of the light mood they were in and that was relaxing.

- Camila, we've got fifteen minutes, let's go. - Ashley informed her from the outside of the dressing room.

- Oh my God, wish me luck! - She said looking at her mother.

- Good luck, Camila. - They smiled at each other and the performer gave her mom a hug.

- Gracias, mama. - She whispered while she warmly held her mother.

A huge part of her crew was standing outside of her dressing room, waiting for her to leave so that they could go together. Everybody was excited and the energy they shared was great.

- Guys! - The singer said, calling everyone's attention to herself. She had a smile on her face and that unique way that belonged only to her. She could share the powerful energy she had with everybody else and make them even more excited. - Let's kill it! - She shouted in a playful and exciting way.

- Let's do it! - They answered just as excited and went for a big hug.

Walking towards the stage, Camila found herself nervous, in a way she was no longer used to feel. Being on stage usually felt like being at home, but everything that made her feel so comfortable wasn't there, she was by herself and that caused her to feel a lot of pressure.

The first auditions on the X Factor played in the back of her mind. She remembered how nervous she was, afraid of not being good enough. That was when her dream started to become her life, she met amazing people and made friends, that she had to give up on, in an attempt to fix her heart.

Instead of thinking about those things, she tried to focus only on what was about to happen, she knew she couldn't distract herself, otherwise she could do something wrong. Ruining that moment was the last thing she wanted at that point. The cuban girl tried to be positive on her thoughts. 

"It's less than ten minutes of performance, Camila." She started talking to herself. "You've performed for over an hour and nothing went wrong. It's just two songs, just two songs, you're not gonna mess up, no messing up tonight."

She couldn't help the memories that kept on coming to her mind, the last time she had performed... She was still a member of Fifth Harmony but she no longer belonged there. At the beggining it was exciting and it made her the happiest girl in the world. She would never feel alone during the time she was a real part of the group.

The fact that she shared the stage with four other girls made her feel secure, if anything happened she had someone to get her back, and they did it every time it was necessary. They were there to hold her down and she was there for them.

When Camila first auditioned for the X Factor, she was just a little girl who dreaming to be a singer. She had never thought about being on a girl band, she had no friend who shared that dream with her. In fact, she didn't really have friends at that time. But the TV show gave her everything... The career she dreamed about, friends who really got her and someone to love. Suddenly she found herself wanting to have that life forever. However, later on the direction things took wasn't the best.

Years later, there she was, working with what she once dreamed about but with a broken heart that fought to keep beating. She was trying to fix herself, mend her own heart. Her friends were part of the past, a past she had to let go, that broke her soul into pieces. But she knew the terms...

From the heaven she found on Earth while being on Fifth Harmony, the only thing that still made her feel good was the profession she followed. But even that was threatened, if she wasn't accepted as a solo artist she'd be the girl who left a successful band to find a path of failure. People would talk about her as the girl that made the wrong choices, no one would care to try to understand her, they'd only talk about her to get some attention and finantial return. She didn't want to be the girl who disappeared. She didn't aim to be the next Taylor Swift, but she wanted to live from her music and sing from her heart.

No longer thinking about the past, Camila only focused on the future, mainly the next minutes. "No messing up tonight..." She repeated one more time, as a way to literally stop herself from doing that.

Even though she was nervous, she felt some happiness for singing her own lyrics and letting her heart out. Art was the only thing to set her free and what she did was more than singing, she confessed herself through her music.

The sooner it got to her performance to start, the faster her heart beat. Her band was alright in position, she looked around and felt blessed for having that chance. She would not waste that precious opportunity, she knew what she had to do and she would give her best.

The stage looked perfect, just like she wanted. That beautiful view caused her some commotion, she felt proud of herself at that moment, for being there. Excitement started to take over her and her body got highly energized. She had a show to put on...