OUT - What happened to us? (Camren)

Chapter 7

Writting songs was not a new thing for Camila, she had been using music as a way to escape reality and exteriorize her feelings since she was a young teenager, but being on a studio with music producers and a whole team was a completely new experience for her. It felt scary sometimes and it got her to feel nervous and anxious, but most of it all, it made her highly excited for what was coming. 

It was really hard to describe the satisfaction that came from making her own music professionally. Writting for herself and keeping it private was one thing, working on something to present to the world felt way different. 

Sometimes Camila had the studio only to herself and those moments were so precious for her. That was when she felt totally free to feel and to create. 

Among all the songs Camila had been working on, there was one that she had always had special feelings for. Even though for a while she only had the idea for the song, just the thought of it pleased her in a way that no other song she had ever composed (or thought of composing) did.

It wasn't simply the melody she had in mind and the lyrics she had been putting together on the notes of her phone. The big secret for how involved she was with that production was the memories it came from and the emotions she was trying to express musically. 

The latin girl held a special love for each line she had ever written, including the ones she would never show to the world, but that one song was outstading. There was something more about that, it had to be a perfect expression of her being. Every note needed to be able to express the exact feeling she wanted for each verse. An ironically stable roller coaster was a good metaphor for those feelings. Stable because it didn't seem to disappear and a roller coaster because it kept on causing a mixture of feelings that went up and down.

She didn't tell anyone at first, but that song was the representation of the most important resolution she had had about herself, and through that she wanted to express that she accepted everything with no regrets. She hoped that someone would absorb it when they heard it and get the message.  It was so hard to say those words face to face. Camila thought it was easier to put in a song.

Late nights in Los Angeles were never the same. There were so many possibilities for things that could happen, things that could be done or seen. Sometimes the girls had plans together, personal or professional, and some other times they would just stay in a hotel and wait for the next morning.

Camila and Lauren shared a room that night, which proved that they were doing fine. Whenever they fought, they wouldn't sleep together and every time it happened, the other girls got extra cautious with anything they did or said. Both Camila and Lauren became really unpredictable when they were mad at each other. But everything was great that night and the day had been good for everyone.

- Hey, let's go out. - Lauren said softly, right after getting in the room and closing the door behind her. She had been talking to Normani and Dinah for several minutes near the pool while Camila stayed in the room by herself.    

- What? - Camila asked turning her head to face the girl that walked into the bed next to hers. - It's already late. - She pointed out, but smiled at the end and that gave Lauren a clue of what the younger girl was thinking.

- That just makes things even better... - She argued with a suggestive tone in her raspy voice.

- I'm busy now. - The naughty smile after those words proved that Lauren's first thought was definitely correct. Camila looked down again and focused on her guitar, something she had been doing for a while at that point. Whenever Camila was a litte sassy, she would play hard to get with Lauren. The green eyed girl had learned to love that behavior over the years. Cabello had a  special pleasure at seeing Lauren show interest on her by trying to convince the younger one to do whatever she had in mind. The cuban-mexican girl understood that as a way to prove care and Lauren got it right.