╰┈➤ WARNING: this series may contain sensitive content. Readers are advised to proceed with caution. As of 2022, the author has started editing this set of one shots and deeply apologises to anyone their younger self may have triggered or upset by not putting a warning beforehand.
THE NEXT MORNing Arthur awoke to the smell of breakfast cooking.Merlin sat walked around the knights with a goofy smile, handing out fresh made food. Arthur couldn't believe what he was seeing. Why was Merlin so happy?? Only last night he was about to kill himself...and now...he's smiling like it never happened! The rest of the day went by as usual, besides the fact that arthur didn't yell at Merlin as much and was keeping his eyes on him. They hunted for two hours, catching nothing but a small deer thanks to someone. *cough* Merlin *cough*.
When they reached Camelot Merlin just left Arthur with the horses all by himself. "Merlin? Where do you think your going?" Arthur demanded.
Merlin chuckled, "I have the week off remember?"
Arthur growled, "Ugh! Fine! But put the horses away first!"
And he did. A while later Arthur was pacing in his room with very confused and conflicted thoughts, that never seemed to end. Luckily, Gwen had noticed her husband's distress. "Arthur, what wrong?" She asked, gently.
Arthur pulled at his hair, "Gwen...something happened on the hunting trip...I'm not sure if I should tell you or not. But I'm so confused! I just, don't understand..." Merlin had been right. Arthur didn't and wouldn't understand.
Gwen lade a soft hand on his shoulder. "I promise I won't tell anyone Arthur. And I'm sure it couldn't have been that bad, I mean what could happen on a little hunting trip?"
"Merlin tried to kill himself by jumping off of a tree. That's what could and did happen." Gwen paled and gasped.
"M-merlin? But, why would he? He's always so happy."
"He says he misses some people who have died. But I know that's not all. He's hiding something. And he thinks that if he tells me, I won't understand." He said.
Merlin put on his fake smile and opened the door to his chambers. He saw Arthur, Gwen, Gwaine and Gaius standing around talking about something. And Merlin knew that something was him when all heads stared at him. He went to turn around and leave when he was stopped by Gwaine, who pulled him into the group. He gulped. "Not so fast, Merlin!" Gwaine said.
Gaius suddenly came up to him and hit the back of his head, "Merlin! Why on Earth would you try and take your own life?! Do you know what that would do to me?! I nearly had a heart attack when Arthur told me!" He yelled.
Merlin glared at Arthur. "Why would you tell them?!" He screamed at him, thinking How could he?!
"I had to! You wouldn't tell me the whole reason why! I had to ask someone if they knew!" He said, defensive.
All of a sudden everyone was yelling at him. Saying how stupid it was to do such a thing. Saying how horrible everyone would be without him. Judging him. And he told the ONE person he trusted. And they betrayed him. Merlin couldn't pretend anymore. His walls fell apart. He dropped to the ground and wrapped his arms around his legs, sobbing. The others stopped yelling and watched, only now realizing just how broken he was inside...
"I'm sorry, Merlin. We shouldn't have yelled at you like that." Arthur said.
Merlin continued to sob. It felt good to release his pain through tears instead of self-harming. It felt more natural. "G-gaius...just tell Arthur. I should die anyway! Just tell them all. They should know the truth and I should die!" He yelled, while crying still.
Gaius' eyes held sorrow for the boy. "Sire. Please don't kill him. Please. He's only ever protected you and Camelot. It is his destiny to serve you Arthur. If you kill him...Albion will never come to pass..."
"Just tell me Gaius! I must know the truth! I'm sick of everyone hiding things from me!" Arthur said.
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