╰┈➤ WARNING: this series may contain sensitive content. Readers are advised to proceed with caution. As of 2022, the author has started editing this set of one shots and deeply apologises to anyone their younger self may have triggered or upset by not putting a warning beforehand.
MERLIN BEGRUDGINGLY WALked to Arthur's chambers with his breakfast.
He hadn't had much sleep due to all the extra chores Arthur had given him, putting him into a mood of sorts. "Do this Merlin, do that Merlin! Muck out the stables Merlin, walk my dogs Merlin! Done? Here's more! Scrub the floors Merlin, clean my room Merlin!" He mimicked Arthur's orders. Merlin pushed open the door to Arthur's chambers and placed his food onto the table, before pulling the curtains open. "Wake up." Merlin said, dryly.
Arthur just groaned in return, pulling the blanket over his head. Merlin simply just rolled his eyes and yanked the blanket off of him, causing the king to yelp and fall out of bed. Merlin, instead of laughing like usual, left Arthur on the floor and went to the closet to find him some clothes.
Arthur stood up, frowning in confusion. What's his problem? He thought. After getting dressed, Merlin watched as Arthur ate his food. He didn't say anything as he was still in a grumpy mood and was afraid of what would come out of his mouth if he did say something. And Merlin knew that it wasn't entirely Arthur's fault that he hadn't been sleeping. Merlin had also been quite depressed lately. He'd self-harmed last night as well...but that only gave him a sense of relief, not a solution.
He'd been depressed because of his life. He loved saving Arthur and all, but sometimes he just wished he wasn't who he was.
He wished he didn't have such a large destiny. He wished he didn't have to grieve the loved ones he'd lost. He wished he'd never lost them at all...He wished, so, so much, that he wasn't Merlin; the greatest, most powerful warlock to ever walk the Earth.
But he was. And nothing could change that. Or could something? Death maybe? Yes. Death would be his salvation. He must have completed his destiny by now...right? He'd saved Arthur a thousand times over, in fact, he'd even saved him in the battle at Camlan! (his magic wasn't revealed though.)
Gwen was Queen, he'd killed Morgana and the kingdom was close enough to bringing back magic. Not that Merlin wasn't greatful for that, of course. He'd always dreamed of being able to share his knowledge of magic and it's beauty freely. But he didn't want to face Arthur's wrath. Or Gwen's, or anybody else's. He could end his life today. Arthur was going on a hunting trip. He could just sneak away and-
"-MERLIN!" Arthur threw a goblet at him. "WILL YOU LISTEN FOR ONE SECOND!? I was saying...that I might cancel the hunting trip today, as I have some paperwork to do." He said, casually. Arthur had no idea what Merlin had been planning.
Merlin's eyes widened. What? Cancel the hunting trip? He had just perfected his plan...and as always Arthur had to ruin it! "No!" Merlin's almost hysterical voice yelled. "I-I mean...no. Um...don't cancel your hunting trip. You should have fun. I'll do your paperwork when we get back." He panicked internally as he waited for Arthur's reply.
Arthur gave him a look. "What the hell is going on with you today Merlin? You never want to go on hunting trips!"
"Nothing. I just think a grumpy king is not the best one." Merlin fake smiled.
Luckily Arthur fell for it and dropped the subject. Merlin smiled, relieved. His plan might actually work for once.
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