Merlin One Shots

26 | Am I back?

Merlin's smile was wide, contagious and friendly. Everyone knew him and everyone liked him. Arthur didn't understand how one servant could impact so many. Until he was gone.

The head cook was even acting out after Merlin's yearly visit to his mother in Ealdor.

So when he finally returned, days later, Arthur couldn't help but show his relief. Through jokes, of course. "Merlin!" Arthur clasped his shoulder, "The castle was going mad without you!"

A few days later Merlin was preparing Arthur and the knights for a hunting trip. They set up and left in less than an hour, Arthur immediately making jokes and bantering with Merlin the whole way through the forest land.

"Merlin?" The king asked after being insulted by his servant, "Do you have a brain inside that thick skull of yours?"

Merlin chuckled along with the knights as he rode beside Arthur. "Do you have a brain at all?"

"You can't address your king like that!" He said smugly, sitting straighter, if possible, on his horse.

"Sorry, do you have a brain at all, sire?"

It went on like this for a while, bantering back and forth until they started hunting a deer.

Merlin accidentally falling over several times during three attempts at getting the poor animal.

After Arthur had it up to his nose with failure he told his men and Merlin to make camp. They'd only caught a few rabbits at that point, Merlin slightly disappointed.

He started making rabbit stew, then served it out to everyone. Later that night Arthur stood guard and Merlin was the only one still awake.

"Get some rest Merlin, you'll need it for all the chores your getting when we get back to Camelot. No one falls over accidentally that much." Arthur said, pointedly.

Merlin sighed, "I can't sleep."

"Why not?"

"I'll have a night mare, like a bad one."

"What about?" Arthur was too curious.

Merlin decided that he was too exhausted to lie anymore, honestly comes out when your tired. As his mother once said. "All the things I've done, people I've hurt."

"You?" Arthur scoffed, "You couldn't hurt a fly."

"I've killed Arthur, I've killed people. Bad people. But they haunt my dreams now forever. Don't you ever have bad dreams about the people you've killed?"

Arthur must have been tired for sure, because he believed Merlin. Maybe it was something in his voice, how he sounded so... sorrowful. "I used to when I was younger but not about the ones I'd killed. The ones my father had killed, I'd have dreams especially about the innocent ones. They would haunt my sleep telling me it was my fault for not stopping him."

"But it wasn't."

"I'm guessing it wasn't your fault you killed those people too then? Did they do something bad?"

"Yes." Merlin laid his head back down and sighed, shakily. "They tried to hurt you. Some hurt my mother. One hurt my love but it wasn't there fault so they didn't die, I couldn't kill them either. We are too close."

"Hurt me? What do you mean?"

"Do you know how tiring it is when I have to deal with person after person try to kill you, day after day? And for what? I get no thanks. A magical beast tries to kill you and it's like, 'Merlin such a scaredy cat he did behind a tree!' but I saved you. I've been poisoned, tortured, cut, bruised, choked, imprisoned, kidnapped, manipulated, tricked, trapped and punished just to save you. And nothing happens in return except my body on a pyre if I say too much. Which I probably have."

Arthur gapped, "You've saved my life on multiple occasions?"

"With magic." Merlin thought he should add, a defeated sigh deflating him.

"Why...why are you telling me this Merlin?" Arthur was hurt and confused and mad but not really surprised at all.

Merlin let a tear slip, "My mother, Arthur. She died. And I couldn't save her. I figured...what have I got to lose?"

"Your life, maybe?" Arthur said before adding, "Well from anyone but me. I'd never hurt you Merlin."

Merlin looked slightly annoyed at this, "Aren't you mad, Arthur? I betrayed you, I have magic. Don't you want to kill me?"

His voice was almost pleading yet demanding, "You want me to kill you?" The king's voice was a broken whisper.

Merlin nodded and suddenly he did something that surprised him, he hugged him. He knew how it felt to lose his mother, but he never knew her unlike Merlin.