Make Me Breathe! (Completed)

chapter 2

I unlocked my door and entered to my house that looked like a total mess. I had rummaged everywhere when I was preparing to leave yesterday for the party and I had no time to take things back to where they were supposed to be. I will take time and arrange before my sister shows up even though she knows I'm not the neat and smart type of a girl.

I had taken a bus from that strangers' house to my apartment. Thankfully my car was still parked there just like I left it yesternight. That's why I love this place, security is enough around here. I can't imagin waking up to my baby car stolen.

I felt tired like hell, every part of my body aches. Taking a shower will do me good ,but my mouth is the worst ,I can smell all brands of beer I took yesterday. I went to my bathroom to brush my teeth before doing anything else.

I felt better ,at least I can give somebody a kiss right now. Who ? I laughed at my stupid thought.

I have no man  in my life right now. I lost interest in being clingy to a single man who will obviously break your heart after a while. Men are all the same,they will tell you false things,fool you , have you and dump you immediately when you think they are good for you.

If men had a heart ,then Mark would not have broken my heart during a time like that. When I needed him the most but he showed me his back after trusting him with all my heart. Since that day I realized I'm a fool and I had no option other than taking a different direction.

And here I am ,doing only 'one night stand'. I don't like giving my trust to any man anymore. You may call me a lost cause but I'm not. I like doing my things in my own way. Afterall we live once!

Yes ,we live once. We can be whoever we want. I'm young in my early twenties ,hot and ready. I can have any man take me to bed provided I don't stick to him.

Talking of love .....I thought there was love when I had Mark, but no! people keep lying to us. I lost trust in love. Maybe lust ,it sounds abit true. I don't love and I will never.

Trust is beyond my age. I mean it, I'm too young to trust.

You know what ? If I  stand here slowly taking a trip down my life impossibilities then I will never shower leave alone cleaning the mess.

I wanna take a hotshower it will relax my body. I sighed softly taking a deep breath as I left my room to the shower. I scrubbed every dirt on my body feeling fresh and better.

I took a simple black jeans and a white T-shirt. I look simple like I just needed.

I started arranging my closet, which was soo untidy. I could feel my stomach rumbling as I struggled folding my clothes ,goddammit I'm hungry like shit. 'Breakfast , wait a minute'. I hurriedly swept the room and cleaned it until it shined from far.

I checked my phone ,no text or missed call. She is five minutes late.

I went to the kitchen to prepare hot chocolate. I'm confused what to make for my complaining stomach, it doesn't deserve to be punished anylonger. I tried to  remember the last time I took a nice meal. Maybe lastweek ......kidding . I would be dead ,you know.

I'm a lazy girl when it comes to cooking. I like it when my roommate is around, she loves cooking and that's a relief to me. If she was around I would not stand here staring at the fridge searching for what to take. Dammit Clara ! You will never grow to become a real woman.

I don't like thinking about  my future ,I rarely does it. Even when I was in a relationship ,I've never thought beyond completing school and getting a well paying job. Children and other grownup shit is beyond my focus. Right now ,all I'm thinking is about school. I don't give a fuck about future.