Make Me Breathe! (Completed)

Chapter 18

Jack's POV

Life changes day by day and before you know it you are a hundred miles back or ahead of other people around you.

I'm affected by the changes in life and here I am slowly being left behind. Life has done me a deal. A big deal that is too hard for be to tackle, I mean it's hard to change it and bring it back to how it was two weeks ago.

I've started inching closer to the edge of a cliff and I'm not sure of what awaited me at the bottom.

For two weeks I've been by myself. I've done all it is to be done to dump a feeling that started to grow in my heart. I've erased many things in my heart and I can sense that I'm making some progress.

You may be wondering what have been doing in two weeks and this is it. I attend classes, thankfully we don't share any lecture with Clara and that made my life simple. I would drive to school ,park my car at the furthest corner ,attend a lesson and walk out before others so that I can drive out of the gate early than others.

I did this to avoid Jasmine also ,I knew she would ask me thousands of questions about  why I avoid Clara these days and I don't want to tell her the cause of all this shits.

We were with her before she went to Clara's house the day of Chris' party and I had told her how bothered I was about my feelings towards her friend. She told me that she sense the same about Clara. She had given me hope that maybe Clara has come to like me too. But no she didn't change.

When she told me to approach her I had gathered enough courage the whole day rehearsing of how I will make her know that I like her. The whole day memorising words to tell her. But all were cut short when I met her kissing Chris and to add icing on the cake Timothy was there grabbing her too.

It's  too risky to love a girl who likes different men and she is comfortable with it. It's even harder to love a girl who doesn't acknowledge you.

I've been keeping myself busy after classes and during weekends. I overwork at my dad's hotel whenever I'm free including Saturday and Sunday evenings. I told Laura the truth after insisting thst I should tell her why I was working all the time.

But I'm good now all is well settled in my heart only some bit of missing her but apart from that no more strong feelings. Even if there are I always shut them down by confessing that I no longer like her.

It's easier since I've never set my eyes on her since Chris party. I've forgotten all about her ,how she look facially is all I remember.

I wish I had a chance with her, it would be the most beautiful feeling I would receive in my life. But I blame no one, I know  I'm not good for her because I will always feel jealousy if I see her with other men. She need freedom ,to live her life the way she want.

Let her enjoy her youth life.

It hurt but I'm over it. I assure you.

If I only manage to avoid her for one more month I know I can completely forget about her.

What if she misses me ? Of course no silly. She can never miss me cause she is sorounded by men in parties and in school.

Dammit Clara. You confuse me.

Jasmine had been calling me lately but I always ignore her calls. I know she just want to know why I've been avoiding her and why the hell I didn't show up at Chri's party like we had agreed. Its hard to tell her that I was hurt to see Clara kissing another boy. We had agreed that I should approach her and confess my feelings but I was unable due to what I saw.