Destiny

Chapter 43 - Confessions

"I think you're making a mistake!" Ed stated looking grim as ever .
Currently , he wasn't just playing the role as my friend but also as my advisor.

I sighed , casting my eyes down as I stared at my empty cup .

"What other choice do I have ?"I whispered .

"Two years , Tracy! You have been in a fucking relationship for two years and now that everything is going smoothly, you wanna end it. You'd better have a valid reason !"

Two years !I couldn't believe it was all over .Fuck ! It seemed like it was only yesterday when we started going out .

It still feels fanciful to call him mine , even after what we have been through - the days, weeks and months filled with blissful memories that I would have mistook  for hallucinations, if not for the little bickering we often added in our relationship .

"Yes, I do." I answered Ed, realizing he was waiting for a reply.

I heard him scoff ."Then why can't you tell me ?"

"Its...quite complicated."

"But you do owe him an explanation!"
I remained silent brooding over his words .

"You're lucky to have him ." he mumbled after a while. " Not every one gets to be with the one they crave for..."

I peeked up at him and noticed he was staring at me without the slightest trace of emotion in his countenance but his eyes seemed to hold them all .

"I loved her but was too delusional ,  arrogant and a self-centered moron to accept my feelings and now-" he gave a frustrated sigh before continuing "- and now , it's too late."

Though he never mentioned it,I knew he was talking about Aeryn.
It had been the first time he had brought her name after she left for Canada when she earned a scholarship .

Unfortunately ,Sarah and Aeryn went different ways when they got enrolled into college since Aeryn couldn't afford the NYU .

She refused any help I offered to provide , insisting that she was more than happy to have been enrolled into a college .

I wasn't sure she was gonna head back any time soon but she did promise to pay a visit soon when I met her at Montreal.

"Why do you say that ?" I asked ."All you have to do is approach her and ask her out .Start from the beginning. "

"And you believe she would reply with a simple 'yes' ? Even after the insults I threw on her face heartlessly, regarding her and her family ?"
He almost snapped his neck when he ripped his burning gaze from mine,  ashamed .

"You should apologize ."I suggested .

"I could. I wound , a thousand- scratch that- a million times , if that's what takes me to get her back . But I have a bad feeling about this . What if she's already been taken or loves someone else ?" He rubbed his brows .

"I could live without staying by her side, knowing she is doing fine but I don't think I could live watching someone else ...-"

"Hey, I'm sure she would have mentioned it during our chats in social media, if she was in a relationship ."

" She is the one to keep certain personal things to herself ."

"Yeah, you're right . She does ...but how do you know about her ? It wasn't like you ever spoke to her..."

"But I have eyes , and I have noticed her every move and understood how her mind works .And now-" his voice abruptly rose to an octave -" you see why I insist on you to drop your breakup ideas? You have a perfect life , like the one I crave the most and you choose to leave it all behind , for what ?"