I was head over heels with this woman I loved everything about her..her laugh, her smile, the way her face lit up when she was happy, that cute little southern twang in her voice, the way she stole my clothes, the way she loved with all her being...how she loved me....I woke up feeling Ash's side of the bed empty sitting up I pushed my hair out of my face..I could see Ash silhouette standing outside I got up pulling on a hoodie then walked outside I found Ash dressed in a pair of pajama pants and one of my shirts her hair blowing in the crisp night air.."Why are you awake?"
Ashton frowned "Thinking."
I stood beside her looking over Lisbon..when I looked at her I noticed the tears in her eyes "What's wrong?"
She held up a white stick "This."
I raised an eyebrow "You're pregnant?"
Ashton shook her head "No."
I sighed softly "Then why the tears."
She frowned "I don't know as I was waiting for it all I could thing about was what it would be like our kid...and seeing that negative it kinda broke my heart.."
I placed my hand on the back of her head as I kissed her temple "I've thought about it too..a little one with your big blue eyes..your sneaky smile....trust me baby I've thought all about it."
Ashton sighed "I didn't realize how much I wanted it until I sat there staring at this test...I think it was wishful thinking but I felt my heart shatter at the results."
I brushed the tears off her cheeks "Now just isn't right for us...one day we'll have kids I would much prefer it to be when I'm home for everything."
She sniffled "God I feel ridiculous...all this crying over a maybe....and I didn't want to tell you unless I knew."
I shook my head "Don't do that nothing wrong with being hopeful..as chaotic as things are right now if you told me you were baby I'd be thrilled we would figure it out...this just means I get you to myself a little longer."
Ashton laughed softly "Shannon.."
I gently took her face in my hands "One day baby I'm going to give you everything your heart wants...babies...marriage all of it."
She smiled finally "Shan.."
I smiled "There's that smile...now we'll count this as our moment we realized want we want for our future together and go back to bed.."
Ashton nodded "Okay.."
I nodded as we went back inside closing the door...after taking off our hoodies we got back in bed...I kissed her shoulder "One-day we'll have it all baby."
She mumbled "Sleep.."
I kissed her shoulder as she fell asleep in my arms and I soon did the same...the next morning we got up and decided to do a little exploring before tonight's show I watched as Ash walked ahead with Emma, Tomo, Vicki, and Chloe..I looked at Jared "So a pivotal moment happened in my relationship at like 1am."
Jared raised an eyebrow "What?"
I sighed "Ash thought she might be pregnant so she took a test...I found her crying on the balcony."
He looked at me "Well?"
I sighed deeply "She's not...she was a bit heartbroken about it...she said she didn't realize how much she wanted it until it was staring her in the face..and seeing her like that made me realize everything I've always said I never wanted I want with her...I want her to be the mother of my kids J."
Jared smiled "Is it possible you just admitted you're actually ready to settle down with Ash more than just your live in girlfriend?"
I nodded "I can't see spending the rest of my life with anyone but her."
He smiled "Well I do love you brother but Ash isn't the girl you keep as a girlfriend or as this is evidently going a baby mama..she's the type of girl you marry.."
I nodded "Trust me I know...but if I'm going to do this I want it absolutely perfect...privately....and not just any ring will do. "
Jared nodded "I'll help anyway I can.."
I nodded "Thanks J."
He smiled "Anything to make sure you guys are happy.."
I smiled softly as I noticed we lost the others "Where the hell are they?"
Jared laughed "I hear Ash and Tomo laughing."
I laughed as we found Ash and Tomo outside a lingerie store..I kissed her cheek "Not going in?"
Ashton shook her head "I still have stuff at home with tags still on them...I don't need more."
I nodded "I don't complain."
She laughed "No you don't but no I'm not buying anymore...not yet anyways."
Jared chuckled "You two I swear."
Ashton smiled "Awe you're still my best friend J."
He laughed "Damn right."
I just laughed...I held onto Ash's hand as we kept walking "You okay?"
Ashton looked up at me with a warm smile "I'm fine."
I smiled "I like seeing you this happy."
She smiled "You make me happy...I haven't had a lot of that in my life."
I stopped her "I love you Ash."
Ashton smiled softly "I love you too..."
I leaned down pressing a kiss to her lips..I pulled away slightly "Tell me how much of that lingerie did you actually pack?"
She smiled "A few...I may actually have some on now that you will see tonight."
I raised an eyebrow "Preshow quickie?"
Ashton shook her head as she pulled me to start walking "More like after the show back at the hotel actually have some fun in that big ole bed."
I nodded slightly "I'm perfectly okay with that.."
She smiled "Figured you'd agree."
I nodded as we continued our day out...yep I was definetly going to marry this girl
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