SINFUL | Kim Taehyung

25

[ a/n: depression is not a joke. just because someone else is having a hard time, its not like ur own "hard time" isn't as difficult and tiring. so whenever you're having a hard time, pls tell it out to other people. share ur sadness with ur family & fellow friends so that they can give you the support and comfort u r needing, which is very important. don't bottle ur feelings up because that's how depression will devour u. take care, loves. so pls, love yourself. love myself. also, rip jonghyun. you hv worked hard. may your soul find its peace. ]

• • •

{ Understanding and Acceptance }

'Where am I?'

'Why is it so dark in here?'

"Minhee", you heard a familiar deep voice.

"Taehyung? Is that you?!"

You stood up and ran after his voice. "Taehyung!", you shouted but there was no response.

That was when a bright light shone right into your eyesight, making you immediately shut your eyes tight, covering it with your hand. You then slowly removed your hand and looked around to see yourself in nothing but a plain white room. No furniture. No humans. Just plain white walls and floor.

"Erin ah", you immediately turned around when you heard his voice. Your eyes widened when you saw him caressing a familiar girl's cheeks. Which is you but, not you.

The girl smiled at him and both of them embraced each other while he rested his chin on her head. The sight you were witnessing was tearing you apart.

'I can never replace her'

Your eyes fluttered open and your vision came in contact with a white ceiling.

"Dear, you're finally awake", you heard a familiar teary voice, making you glance sideway.

"Mom?", you said, being unsure why she is here and why you are here.

"Where am I?", you asked as you tried to sit up and your mother helped you. "You are at the hospital, honey. You were out for like four days", she said, making you stared at her with wide eyes. "Four days?!"

She nodded, "Yes, four days. Sorry for putting you in such a position. I made you feel so stressed and sad to the point that you would pass out due to tiredness and depression". A teardrop slipped through her eye.

'It isn't just because of you, mom'

"No, mom. I really am fine. I was just tired. I should have eaten my meals properly and slept on time", you lied since you didn't want to make her worry. She suffered enough and you didn't want to burden her.

She kept crying and you comforted her by pulling her into a hug. "Mom, please don't cry anymore. You have cried enough...", you cooed into her ears.

Her phone rang in her slim bag, making her pull herself back from you and answered the call. She wiped away her tears before she spoke.

"Hello?"

"Yes, darling?"

"I... am fine"

She then glanced at me, earning a questionable look from me.

"Yes, she's awake now"

"Imm"

"Love you too, see you"

"Who is it?", you asked and she was hesitant to answer your question. "Is it my new father?", you guessed with a smile and her eyes widened since you were addressing her new husband as your father, which is very shocking.

It doesn't matter to you anymore, since you just want her to find real happiness. You wanted her to enjoy her life, not worrying about you.

You chuckled, "Don't make that face, mom". "You're fine with it?", she asked.

"As long as you didn't marry him for the sake of me, I am okay with it", you said and her lips curled upward. She pulled you into a tight hug, "Thank you so much!", causing you to laugh a little.

The door opened, revealing Yerin who was looking at the both of you with a warm smile plastered on her lips. "Awwn. You guys made up", she walked towards the both of you and you guys broke the hug.

"Yerin, where were you?!", you pouted and she rolled her eyes. "Excuse you, miss. I was the one who was staying up all night the other days waiting for you to wake up. I just went back to the dorm for awhile to wash up"

You mouthed an 'O'. That was when Taehyung's voice rang in your ears.

"Minhee-si! Kang Minhee!"

"Ya, Kang Minhee!"

You remembered that you collapsed into his arms before you lost your consciousness.

"Yerin, how did I get to the hospital?", you asked, finally getting hold of the situation. "I don't know about that. The hospital called me and when I came here, you were lying on the bed already", she answered.

"Why? What's wrong?", she noticed the confused look on your face. "Nothing. Just wondering", you lied and she didn't seem to buy it but, she didn't want to make a scene infront of your mother.

"Okay then", she shrugged. "Aunty, aren't you celebrating your wedding?", Yerin asked the woman sitting beside you.

"I am thinking not to. We just signed on the papers", your mother answered, causing you to make a face. "Mom, why?! You should celebrate it. I want to see my mom in a wedding dress", you sheepishly smiled at her.

"Honey, wouldn't it be a bur-"

"You should celebrate it, aunty! Isn't it going to be fun? Also, Minhee will get closer to her stepfather", Yerin cut off her sentence and you nodded in agreement.

You mother glanced at you with a sad face, "Are you even going to attend my wedding?" You sighed, "of course, mom. I promise. I will"

"You haven't meet your stepfather yet right?", Yerin asked and you shook your head, "Nope"

"Hmm. I'll make sure to introduce him and his son to you someday", your mother held your hand as she shoved her warm smile at you.

"Wait, he has a son?", you asked.

"Yes. I think he is the same age as you. I have never met him either", she said and you smiled very widely. "That's great! I have always wanted a brother", you chimed.

Your mother pinched your cheeks, "Thank you, dear. Thank you for accepting this"

You laughed at her actions, "no problem. As long as you are happy, I am"

"How I wish your sister was here too", tears brimmed in her eyes and your smile fell at her words. You glanced at Yerin who was looking at you with a confused expression.

"I'll tell you about everything later, Yerin. Don't worry", you assured her and she just nodded.

"Mom, let's go meet her someday, yeah?", you placed your hand above your mom's and squeezed it softly.

She wiped away her tears and looked at you with a cheerful smile. "Sure"

'I should accept what's going on, instead of refusing to believe it. This is the only way to prevent myself from getting hurt'