The Sweetest Devotion (The Affair Series Book 2)

Therapy Part II

PRESENT TIME

FLASHBACK

STEF POV

"We did so much mom. We learned about the entire solar system."

"Yeah baby? Well that's something huh? I said to Jude as I picked him up from school and we were on our way home. Since getting full custody of him  it had pretty much changed my entire routine down to my hours at work. Fortunately I had found a really good babysitter for him when I worked overtime which was pretty often now and if I needed to work overnight. Most of the time I avoided those shifts so I could take him to school in the morning and pick him up but sometimes that just wasn't possible and he understood. Right now it was safe to say that we were still adjusting to each other, that our lives were still adjusting to each others and our routine was becoming pretty solid thankfully despite the other issues I needed to work on. Never would I let those issue affect me as a parent to him ever again and so far they were not, except for my smoking habit which I tried to do once he was in bed. Whatever it was I just couldn't seem to knock it no matter how much he begged or Lena. It was on my list of things I would tackle once and for all and give up this nasty habit I had since I was 12. Other then that I was trying harder then anything to be a good mom to him by making breakfast for him each morning, packing his lunch, making dinner together and just taking care of him. For the first time I was taking care of my own kid on my own and it was actually feeling ok and I refused to fail him. Absolutely refused and I was learning how to set a basic foundation for him which I had never fully learned growing up. Only once in my life had that been established but it was ripped away from me and buried deep in my mind.

Nonetheless the pain I felt from my daughters situation was heart wrenching to the point that I didn't know what to do with it but try and be patient. We had met last week when I visited her at Girl's United and her social worker once again informed me she was serious about getting emancipated or living with my ex girlfriend Diane. How could I even agree to that? There was no way I was for she was my kid and I was responsible for her. Regardless of how old she was this was my job and she still needed to see that I loved her, that I was trying and that I only wanted the best for her. However, it was not getting easier with her and her issues steamed from pain and hurt. Did I trust that Diane would take care of her if I ever allowed Callie to live with her? Yes. Did I think it was the best solution, no. Was it better then her getting emancipated, of course. But she could get emancipated possibly even without my approval and that alone was disturbing. With all things considered my own therapist said I couldn't continue to guilt myself for my daughters issues for they needed to be handled, addressed and taken care of. But there was no way not to feel guilt for the life she had was not one I wanted to give her. She deserved to happy, she deserved to be loved, and feel ok about her life. Both my kids deserved that and they deserved to know who their father was.  That was another issue altogether and Robert had contacted me asking if he could visit Callie. Of course I agreed for the more support she had the better and I saw no harm for he still loved her and Jude no matter how hard the situation was.

"Yeah it was mom and the science fair is next week and we have our trip. Can I go? It's at the science center."

"I don't see why not baby. Sounds fun to me."

"It's um overnight. We sleep at the museum."

"Oh like night at the museum? That's pretty awesome. Do you sleep in the planetarium under the stars?"

"Yeah! And Conner's going his mom signed the permission slip already."

"Ok so where is yours love?" I asked turning to look at him as I pulled up to a red light.