The Sweetest Devotion (The Affair Series Book 2)

When Fights Hurt

LENA POV

"That's not how it happened Stef. It's not." I yelled back almost pleading with her after we had gotten into an explosive argument a few days ago in which she refused to return my calls or even speak to me. Right now it seemed our relationship was getting more and more damaged as each week went on and I just didn't know what to do about it anymore. Did I have the right to find Frankie? Did I have the right to invade Stef's life like this even when she asked me not to dig up her past? Maybe I should not have but I had good intentions as she continued to smoke cigarette after cigarette and I could see the anger and hurt in her body. Yes I was very upset with myself right now for in no way had I tried to violate her trust and I was well aware how fragile she was. Very well aware and  maybe I had been wrong in what I did as well as keeping it a secret from her. Was this the nature of our relationship where everything just seemed to slam in our faces and we had not had a minutes peace in months. Was this going to work or was Jenna right? Was my mother right? Had I been blinded by love or a relationship that was built on sex and fucking? Was that all our relationship was? Was she the best person for me because it always seemed as if she brought out the worst in me sometimes. 

"Oh no so what you found her by accident! You ran into my daughter just like that! Huh?! Give me a break Lena!" 

"No I never said that! But if you would just listen instead of being such a hothead all the time! Honestly can you for even just a dam second without ripping my head off Stef?! Can you!"

"No one is ripping your head off! But I have every right to be angry with you!"

"Like that is anything knew Stef! You are always angry with me I mean what else is new!"

"Oh bull I am not always angry with you! But I told you to leave well enough alone especially this! I told you I didn't want her to know who I was and to just leave it be! Why couldn't you do that? Huh why not?! As if I don't have enough shit to deal with you go blind side me with this shit! Mother fucker!" She yelled to herself as I had never seen her so angry as she took a sip of wine.

"Look I didn't mean to dig into your past ok! And I know you told me to leave well enough alone. I know it and I am sorry. I wasn't trying to be deceitful or add anything else to your life Stef I just...

"Then why did you? Huh? Tell me why!" she yelled cutting me off and looking me dead in the eyes with nothing but anger.

"Can you take it down a level please! Can you!" I said yelling back at her as she let out a sigh and puffed on her cigarette. 

"Yeah sure whatever."

"Can you be anymore nasty?! I get you are angry but why do you have to be like this?"

"Why! Because you pissed me off. You went behind my back!"

"And you are perfect! I didn't do it to be mean!  I didn't! Do you think I'm out to make your life harder or something! Why do you always think everyone is against you!"

"Jesus Christ woman I never said that! I just wanted you to mind your own god damm business instead of sticking your nose in places it doesn't fucking belong!"

"I told you to watch how you talk to me! I told you that before and god forbid if I will have you cursing at me! I won't have it and....

"Then go! Get out! Now!"

"I am trying to talk to you Stef and...

"I don't want to hear you! I don't want to hear another fucking word you have to say! Do you get that! Huh! Get out!" She said yelling at me as I saw her throw her wine glass in the sink shattering it in a million places. All I could do was freeze for did I make her this angry?Did I thought as she failed to look at me and I could see she was breathing rather heavy almost as if she was calming down from a fight.

"Stef, do I make you this angry? I mean honestly do I?"

"Yeah you do."

"Then maybe you need sometime to get your anger together. I won't have you take it out on me like this I just wont!"

"Then go. Leave, see if I give a shit."

" Fine, you don't need to tell me twice." I said talking louder as she still refused to look at me.  "But just so you know Frankie is a good kid she is and I wasn't going to go see her at the diner until I found out her parents passed away last year and she is living on her cousins couch. She is and she is pushing herself through school and the one thing she wants more then anything right now is to know who her mother is. That's what she wants. She wants to find you. So if you think I am such a horrible person then I don't know. But you better get your anger together, your smoking and drinking before I really go and not come back. I'm not taking that shit Stefanie Foster no one is."

With that she continued to look me dead in the eyes as I walked off not wanting to deal with her for another minute for what she did with the information I just told her I just didn't care. I really didn't as I thought more and more why I was with her.

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Stef has one bad temper.