The Sweetest Devotion (The Affair Series Book 2)

What Becomes Of Life

STEF POV
Earlier that morning

"Why don't you just go talk to her babe." Diane said to me as we relaxed naked in the bed together and leaning my back against the headboard. Sharing a cigarette between us Diane straddled my lap as I ran my hands up and down her soft thighs as she continued to plant small kisses on my lips and shoulders in between talking. Since our talk the other week about our relationship and knowing it was not going much further than what it was the two of us continued to be close not ready to say goodbye yet. Sure we both knew it was going to happen soon as I smiled softly at her and not wanting to think of that.

"I'm sure she got your letter by now. Why don't you drop by her job."

"I don't want to push her Di."

"Well maybe she is scared to approach you? Or unsure?"

"I don't know." I said taking a puff and feeling her run her hands up and down my arms as mine remained on her slim waist."I just hope it didn't sound stupid and that I didn't say too much. Last thing I want to do is scare my baby off."

"I am sure you didn't scare her off and the letter was fine. It was open and honest and you left just enough for her to ask questions. And if she is anything like her mama she will have a ton of them." She laughed as I looked to her letting out a smile. 

"She looks so much like me Di. And she's, she's so sweet and just amazing."

"So she is like you. And I know she looks like you. Looks like my Stef from Nevada." She smiled and cupping my cheek. "Tell her about that person and the person you are now."

"Oh that will really scare her off!" I joked as she shook her head at me.

"It didn't so far based on what you told me. I know it's hard for you to believe but I think she likes you. Why is that so hard for you to believe?"

"It's not. I just don't know if I can deal with another kid of mine hating me Di."

"You won't need to. Because I bet you she wants to talk to you. Go talk to her babe." Softly kissing my lips she got up and threw on my teeshirt as my eyes roamed her body. "Breakfast before you leave?"

"MM sure babe." Winking at her as she let out a wide smile heading into the kitchen. Letting out a sigh I realized I had a ton of shit to do today as it was three weeks until Jude would be coming home. Cleaning up my apartment was a must for I knew I trashed it with liquor bottles and laundry I needed to do. Aside from that I needed to talk to him and Callie  about Frankie  which I was not looking forward to at all. But I didn't think Callie could hate me anymore then she already did so what was one more thing. And Lena. Fuck. 

Running my hands through my hair and taking another puff I quickly got dressed as I slid on Diane's jeans knowing I needed to head to the cleaners to wash my uniform. However, I felt something in the back pocket and lifted  it out to see it was a letter of some sorts. Opening it I read it knowing I should not have as my heart sank. It sank into a million pieces as I headed into the kitchen to see her place coffee and eggs with bacon on the table. Standing in the doorway of the kitchen as she had the radio going Diane looked to me confused.

"You ok babe? Come eat before it gets cold." She said as I remained where I was.

"When were you gonna tell me?" I asked.

"Tell you what?"

"About Boston." I said my voice cracking as she looked to me with concerned and worried eyes. "It's ok you don't owe me any explanation Diane. We aren't together and I don't have any say so in what you do or what you don't do." Walking off to the front door  she followed behind and grabbed my hand.

"Stef I wanted to talk to you."

"It's ok. I need to do some errands. I'll be back later." 

"Stef?!" I heard her call after me as I slammed the door behind me not wanting to hear a thing at that moment.

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LENA POV

My apartment thankfully was just as I left it as I rested my bags by the front door and plopped on my couch. The drive felt as if it was three days long as I had hit all kinds of traffic. Much more then I realized and my head was spinning like crazy. With the decision to come back early as a result of Jenna and our falling out I had not even bothered to tell Stef I was back for it wasn't like she was going to answer anyway and I had no idea what she was running around doing. Avoiding me definitely. Frankie however had been on my mind and I was hoping she was ok for I had to say she was similar to her mother in the fact that she did not return any of my calls and texts. I understood and knew it was hard for her but I would stop by the diner and check on her as soon as I could.

Pouring myself a glass of wine which was way too early to have considering it was only noon I noticed the picture I had up of me and Stef on my window ledge. All I could do was feel my heart sink but smile at her. It felt like many moons ago as she was smiling so wide at me with her hands wrapped around my waist. Truth was I was worried about how she would look for she sounded like shit and she was in a bad place.  A really bad place and we needed to talk so desperately. 

Before I would tackle that part of my life I quickly unpacked and sorted my clothes. Right now I was appreciating how quiet it was and grateful in some way to be back. Yes I had enjoyed being back in San Diego but for whatever reason Sacramento kept calling me back. Whether it was my job or the unresolved and messy relationship Stef and I had that seemed to be in some weird limbo state I didn't know. I just didn't and my mother had begged me once again to pack my things and come back. However, I just wasn't going to do that as I did something I said I wouldn't do. I texted Stef.

"Just so you know I'm back in San Diego. We need to talk, and only when you are sober, so stop avoiding me. If you are with Diane that is your choice Stef but we still need to talk. And I mean this century."-Lena.

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Lena is a ballbuster. LOL