The Sweetest Devotion (The Affair Series Book 2)

Pray

STEF POV

9 years old

"Well now look at you! Look how big you got." My mother said to me as Aunt Fran had dropped me at her house for a visit. Now that Sharon was living on her own I had unsupervised visits where she was supposed to spend a few hours with me and we would get to know each other more.  I hated these visits even more then the supervised ones because I never knew when she was going to go off and she often made me pray with her which was a new thing she was doing. It took hours and last time she took me to a strange church of some sorts  where a priest made her pray more on her knees about all her sins or something and later on he made me confess sins too. I didn't even know what a sin was and it was terrible and I didn't understand it not at all. More than anything I wanted Aunt Fran to stay but she wasnt allowed to and it made it worse much worse because Sharon's new place wasn't any nicer then the homes we lived in before and she had a million crosses hanging up. Maybe she tried more or got nicer furniture  or thought this God person was going to help her but it was nothing like Aunt Fran's or Debbie's. It always looked tacky and cluttered as I smelled nothing but cigarettes and alcohol. 

"Place looks nice Sharon." Aunt Fran said as my hand remained in hers and I didn't want to let it go for anything.

"Well you know I do try. Regardless of what you think." Walking off into her kitchen I looked back up at my aunt as she let out a soft smile. My stomach was killing me as it usually did whenever I was around Sharon or was going to be left alone with her.

"Please don't leave." I whispered to Aunt Fran as she knelt down to me holding my hands. My eyes looked into her hazel ones as she tried to comfort me. "I'm scared mama." I whispered to her.

"I know baby. It will be ok and I will be back before you know it. I promise."

"Do I have to be here? I hate it."

"I know you do baby and I'm working on it honey so that you don't need to. But you remember all our phone numbers and everything. You know what bus to take incase you get in trouble, and you know the way home right?"

"Yes."

"Ok remember all of that. And hold something for me." Removing her badge she placed it in my hand as my eyes looked into hers. "Hold on to that for me ok babylove? It will keep you strong." She winked at me as I let out a wide smile hugging her as she put it in my pocket. 

"I love you mama." I whispered so Sharon would not hear. 

"I love you too princess. Mama loves you so much."

The day had been strange as my mother made me a TV dinner and we watched game shows on TV. She was pretty bad at Jeopardy and Family Feud. I got a few right but she just rolled her eyes and called me a know it all. My mother had not changed but she was pretending she had which made my stomach turn. All I wanted to do was go home as I watched the clock go at a snails pace seeming like it would take forever to be 4 o'clock.  Glancing back at her I felt my stomach turn from the food because I wasn't use to eating TV dinners anymore and I was pretty thirsty from how salty it was but I wouldn't dare ask for water.

"So you living all high and mighty with your aunt huh?"

"What?" I asked confused.

"High and mighty. Fancy. Forgot where you come from?"

"No ma'am." I whispered back taking another bite of my food as she turned to me puffing on her cigarette.

"I aint ma'am. I'm mama and don't you forget that. You're aunt she isn't and never will be. She gets money to take care of you you know. She don't do it for free."

"She is a cop she has a job."

"And. You think she lets you live there because she likes you. The state pays her dummy. Once you back with me she won't get nothing and will probably try to get you so she can get her money again. She's greedy. Cheap tramp slut she is."

"That's not true." I blurted out as she looked at me and laughed puffing on her cigarette.

"Stupid girl. You don't learn nothing. Only one on this earth who cares about you is me and lucky you got that. She don't and neither does that nigga woman she fucks. If anyone needs God it's them over their licking each others parts. Think I don't know what is going on. I know everything and you won't be picking up none of that contagious shit! You won't be there long because you gonna be right back with me. Where you belong. Your little Aunt Fran who you think is your mama ain't worth shit. The dyke she is. She going right to jail and you going with her if you ever, ever do what she does. I find out you do I'll beat your ass till it's beat red!"

"She's not that! She's not any of that and you stop saying those things!" I yelled now getting up as she looked furious at me. Right now I must have lost my mind. "She's not those words! She's..." but before I could cry out another word my mother smacked me right across the face so hard that I landed on the floor.

"Girl you watch yourself with me! You forgot who you talking to huh! You forgot!  You are mine and I say what I want to you! Whatever I want and your trash aunt ain't shit! You wanna be shit like her keep mouthing off to me and I will keep showing you who runs this house here! It's me and you better pray on your knees everyday you become something! You better or you gonna rot in hell just like her the devil you are!" Screaming at me as she put her cigarette out and I held my cheek from pain she shook her head sooning yanking my arm and forcing me on my knees. "Get on your knees girl! Go on get on and pray loud and clear!" She continued to scream forcing me on my knees and pushing my head down with her hand roughly.

"Jesus lord pray for this child! Pray for her. She's as dumb as they come and doesn't know what she is doing. She needs help. Lord do you need to help her living in sin with her sick aunty! But I know there is no help for her. None. But take pity on her. Take pity Jesus." Hearing her pray over and over again until my knees were hurting and until it was growing dark tears ran down my face more and more. I could only hope it was getting closer to 4 o'clock when I could leave and go home for I knew none of what she said was true. None of it or I hoped. I didn't want to live with her, I didn't want Aunt Fran to go to hell and I didn't want to be so scared but I was and knew it would only get worse. Which it did.