Fixation (BWWM) Preview

23.Grail

Seth P.O.V

I looked at Constance as I got ready to leave for work and she just sat there as if something was wrong and I just looked at her.

"Got something on your mind?" I asked her as I pulled on my jeans.

"Yeah, it is." She replied not looking at me and I didn't like anything about this to be honest.

If it was something wrong with her that meant it was something wrong with me as well. I didn't like her to be anything but happy, and I noticed how she never feel asleep last night. I pulled on my black tee shirt and walked over to her. She was still in her night clothes and I sat down next to her and when I reached to grab her she stopped me.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" I asked and she didn't talk.

"If it's about the baby then its going to be fine, I think most women go though this at first. I don't really know but I'm going to guess its not easy to be pregnant." I said tapping her leg and she looked at me.

"There's a chance this child isn't yours." She said in one quick breath and she took my breath away.

I didn't say anything just looked at her and for a long moment I just looked at her, but she never looked up at me.

"What?" I said a little confused.

"Bryan had sex with me three days before I had sex with you for the first time. So there is a chance that him or you could be the father of my child." She said explaining it to me.

"What?" I said again and she finally looked at me and I didn't think I had any emotions on my face but I guess I did.

"You have every right to be angry." She said standing and looking down at me.

"How do you know this?" I asked her pushing my hair back and she watched my finger run though my hair.

"After you asked me about it I wanted to 100% sure that there was not chance of it so I called Bryan last night. I told I was pregnant and he told me that he the night when I gave you a hand job in the bathroom he had sex with me while I was passed out drunk." She said and I was honestly speechless.

"How did you not know someone was having sex with you sweetheart?" I asked her trying my hardest to stay calm.

"I was drunk Seth...I'm sorry." She said and I felt sick to my stomach.

"Are you?" I asked her and she gave me this take back expression and it pissed me off.

I quickly stood and by mistake I hit the side table making the lamp fall and she just looked at me.

"You gave me this look as if you're shocked that Bryan had his dick in you." I said and she crossed her arms.

"Did you know when you lied to me in the kitchen?" I asked and she smiled walking to me.

"No I didn't know, so calm down." She said standing next to me.

"This isn't fair to me." I said and she laughed at me and I couldn't hide the hurt feeling I had then.

"No Seth it isn't just unfair to you but to me as well." She replied and I looked at her.

"How is it unfair to you, you chose to leave me for him, you chose to fuck him, and now I get to have a broken heart again." I said and she just gave me a blank stare and all I could see was how beautiful she was.

"No you chose to have a broken heart again, you didn't have to get back with me but you did." She replied and I walked passed her.

I walked over to the mirror and stopped, then turned and looked around the room lost at what to do. I looked at the empty space on the wall and cocked my fist hitting the wall making a whole in it. I turned and looked at Constance who just looked at me with no emotions and it pissed me off more.

"Do you even fucking care!?" I yelled at her and she just walked to me.

I stood perfectly still as her hand ran up my stomach and over my chest, making my heart race.

"Why do you always hurt me Constance? And why do I always let you?" I asked her and I could see the pain on her face.

"Go to work." She replied walking to the bed again.

"If this child isn't mine, I don't what I would do." I said as she sat down.

"I know." She replied not looking at me.

"So please let it be mine, promise me that you'll be mine because I'm fed the fuck up with always losing you to Bryan. If I lose you to Bryan fuck it, fine, but I don't want to lose my son or daughter to him as well." I said and she still didn't look at me.

"Go to work Seth." She said again and I grabbed my jacket walking to the bedroom door, but I stopped looking back at her.

I love her more than anything, I love her more than I have ever loved any woman in my life. She didn't look at me when I was in pain and I wasn't going to give her my tears not this time.

"The day I first met you Aaron told me to wait for him at the bus stop and sadly you was standing there. If I could go back I wont have asked you when the bus was coming, I would have showed up to call early. Then I would had you as a tutor, and I would have told you no to driving you to your parents house. I wouldn't have fucked you in that motel and my life would be a little happier now." I said and she gave me a little chuckle.

"That's funny, because if I could go back I would make sure I met you first and married you yesterday. I don't regret what happened, I just regret that I made you regret anything. " She replied and I turned hiding the tears that was coming.

"I'll see you when you get home." She said as I walked out the room.

I pulled the front door open and I slammed it hard walking to my car. I didn't stop to think about anything in the car just drove to work, and I was staying the whole day and doing inventory alone tonight. I felt like shit, as I walked into the nice restaurant and hide any emotion I had an put on a smile till I made it to my office. I should have said that to her, I don't regret meeting her but I kind of do now, but I still love the hell of out her.

"What do I do if the love of my life is going to have another mans child?" I said pulling opening one of the small drawers on my desk.

I pulled out the little box and looked at the engagement ring with the green diamond inside of the white gold band. Aaron helped me pick it out but now I don't know what to do with it, I still want to marry her but I can't now.