Fixation (BWWM) Preview

28.Open

Seth P.O.V

I put the DVD I had in the player and sat tried to sit down next to her but she stood making me sit by myself.

"Why do you keep doing this?" I asked her kind of laughing.

"Because I know you think we are friends now but he arent, I'm going to give you a chance to show me what happened. After that, I'm going to bed and you're leaving because once trust is gone it's gone, Seth. I'm going to be with someone that will fuck another just because we have problems." She said hurting my feels like a bitch.

I didn't say anything more just started the tape and the moment she was the date on it she gave the tv a look of disgust. She watched me drink my depression away then when Kevin walked in, and when Taylor walked in. She saw how I kept pushing her off of me, and how she forced booze in my mouth. I looked at this almost a 100 times and I feel stupid that she got me like this, and I felt dirty. I never let the word slip out of my mouth but she raped me, and I could bring myself to honestly say that or report it. Constance kept looking till Taylor walked out of my office laughing.

"So you see I never meant to cheat on you," I said and she just looked a the tv not moving or talking.

"Constance?" I said standing and walking to her as she wrapped her arms around herself.

She started walking away from me and headed into the bedroom, and I followed behind her not super sure what was happening. She fell onto the bed on her side and pulled her legs up till they just barely touch the bump on her. I turned on the light and walked to the front of her, seeing just how much she was crying.

"Constance, I'm sorry I let that happened, I'll fix it just don't cry about it, that was my fuck up not yours," I said trying to make it better but I couldn't.

"When I was a little girl I was with my grandmother a lot, and she was alone all the time. One day I asked her was she happy always being by herself and she looked at me laughed. She told 'That I have lived for 79 years and I can promise you, that happiness is a thought that is only achieved with what you die for.' That was what happened was to her." She said and I looked at her.

"What does it mean?" I asked and she looked at her.

"It means that if you want to be happy you're going to die trying to get it but you'll never live to see." She replied making me feel sad.

"Helen once told me 'Constance stay away from men, and stay away from friends because they are just outlets to destroy and they will take your strength and make you weak' that was her advice." She said and I remembered she told me the same thing, well kind of.

"Do I make you unhappy?" I asked standing in front of her now.

"No one wants us to be together and no one wants me to just be happy, no one is going to just let me live and be happy. I owe Bryan's dad $86,908 and that bitch took me to court, now my checks get garnished for 1,100 every two weeks. My dad stood there with him a lied just because I have a child in me. A woman raped and took your body just because she hated the thought of us being together. I'm tired, and I want to wake up and be myself from three years ago, alone." She said and smiled.

"No you don't, three years ago you didn't know me," I said and she smiled.

"After all day of trying she finally smiles at me," I said and she giggled a little cleaning her face.

"Can I get in the bed, no funny stuff either," I said and after a moment she nodded.

I took off my jacket and shoes and with a big smile on my face I got into the bed behind her but she didn't turn to face me.

"When my mom first died I felt the same way," I said and she looked back at me.

"You never talk about your mother." She said and I laughed.

"Yeah not the most exciting subject I'll admit but she was a very lovely woman, beautiful, smart all that good stuff I think about you. When she got sick, I didn't see her much, and when she died I saw my dad go through some shit. I mean crying, missing work, never paying a bill, cut off from the world. I told myself never again will I cry that much over a woman again, she would be the first and last woman I ever loved. I mean I don't know if you noticed but I didn't respect women that much." I said and she laughed.

"Yeah, I noticed." She said with a smile.

"Shit got hard for us for a moment I was 17 at the time, and my dad was fucked up half the time. I didn't know how to get the money and he never came out of the room, we lived in a mansion that had no lights or gas. One day I was at home hungry as hell and I had 40 dollars I got from some bitch I fucked earlier that day." I said laughing at my own story but Constance had a get to the point look.

"If you're wondering how I ended up with 40 dollars from her it was because I stole it out of her dresser while I was stealing one of her bras. See it was a thing at my school if you fucked a girl you had to steal her bra and whoever had the most at the end of the year won 600 dollars. I had 9 and this guy named Hank had 12, so I had to get going if I wanted to win." I said and she gave me the same look.

"Was that an example of your lack of respect for women?" She asked and I nodded.

"Yeah well back to the point, I had 40 dollars regardless of how I got it I had the shit. I forced my dad out of his room and out of the house so we could get food. I didn't care how much he smelled we need food, so I drove and he sat in the driver seat not talking. Once we made it to the store he got out the car and I went looking for lunch meat and bread something that would last. I told him to find the bread and after 20 minutes I went looking for him and he was talking to Tiffany." I said and she smiled,

"They fell in love." She said and I laughed.

"They did, my dad looking for bread and she was looking for fish, but not the kind you catch the kind that they bring to the store," I said making her laugh as I did Tiffany's voice.

"I never found out what she was talking about, but I knew then love wasn't so bad. Love saved my dad and my life, and I had to see loving my mom didn't hurt him it was losing her. I've loved you for a long time, but the only time it hurt is when I lost you. I know we have a lot to deal with but I don't want to live without you." I said and she touched my hand.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" I asked her and my heart was racing for her to say yes.

"I never wanted to stop," She replied smiling.