Labyrinth | ✓

f i f t h ♂

Lonely.

My father once told me, when people purposely withdrew themselves from the outside world or were secluded from the society, they always ended up being lonely. No matter how reclusive they wanted to be, in the end, they will seek for someone to talk with. I was an innocent, naive child when he told me this, so I used to agree, but now, I was opposed to it.

I had spent most of my life being a recluse, and rarely do I have the urge to talk about my emotions. In the case where I can't help it any longer, I would vent. However, it was only to those relatives and friends that I completely trust, such as my younger sister, Rena, Seb and Lynn. Well, only when she was alive.

I learned from society that those who continually talked about their feelings, are considered annoying, pathetic and worst, pitiful. Obviously, I didn't want to be labelled as those types of person, especially the latter.

I fucking hate being pitied, because it made me look weak and fragile. Also, it reminded me of my past, which was already full of emptiness, anger, pain, regrets. I didn't want to add any more to it, and I never wanted to.

After some time together, Asher decided to leave first, since he had some things to do. He had offered me to ride home with his newly bought car, but I refused. Seb, on the other hand, accepted Asher's aid, despite him distinctly hesitating.

I didn't say or do anything, though. His choice, not mine.

I watched, without complaints, as my best friend hopped into the passenger seat. The engine revved up as the vehicle turned into life, drowning the nature's sounds. It was really loud, that it penetrated through my eardrums. It abruptly sped off, and seconds later, it vanished into thin air.

I don't know why, but I felt really uncomfortable seeing Seb with Asher. Not that I wanted to destroy their recently built rapport, I just developed a strong dislike of them together. I'm just going to let him do whatever fuck he wants.

Currently, I was walking behind Rena and Alyssa. Both of them were too busy with their conversations. They probably had forgotten that I was with them, let alone eavesdropping them, so here I was, all alone and silent.

My heart slightly sank, and I felt a bit left out, but I have to act like I don't care at all. Besides, I followed neither of the topics that they were discussing, so there was nothing I could say. To make myself at ease, I pulled my hoodie onto my head and remained silent in my spot. I lowered my eye and gazed blankly at the concrete, carefully listening to the girls' conversation.

"I heard that they would release the limited edition of the leather jackets by this early July! We have to be fast Rena!" Alyssa's piercing tone was filled with endless frustration. "If I didn't get at least one of them then I will go absolutely bonkers!"

"... but I think you bought t-too much already, and besides, this is summer..." Rena's voice, compared to her friend's, was so delicate and sounded... pure to my ears. I resumed ogling at my shoes. At the same time, I slithered my hands into my pants' pockets, but then I balled them into fists.

"Who cares?" Alyssa interjected. "The materials are not that thick, nor does it absorb that much heat. It will be so perfect during rainy days, or even for school! And second of all, I don't remember buying them so much... the last time I did was 4 months ago!"

"...well, it's totally up to you then..."

"You know what, you should buy the same color so that we will be twinsies!"

"Oh, sure! I-I kinda agree with that...!"

"Yay! 3 more weeks and that freaking jacket will be mine!"