Labyrinth | ✓

s i x t y - f i f t h ♂️

Relaxation.

This was the first time since forever, relaxation came upon me as I ascended back to the real world. Never did I feel like... this calm and safe, unlike earlier days, where I would always be surrounded by severe paranoia and devastation.

Well, some aftereffects still lingered around, such as slight headached and a stinging pain upon my eye. It was probably due to my recent meltdown, but it was negligible, therefore I could stand them well. This was a speck of dust compared to the suffering I had.

As my vision cleared itself, I pulled my head up. found myself resting on a soft, comfy surface, with a thick blanket draped over my body. Next, I forced myself up, and there... I realized I was lying on my bed inside my darkened room... left with no one in sight. The objects that I had tried using upon myself... had been discarded. When my attention came across the table, I noticed unfolded papers filled with scribbles... which, I recalled, were the letters I had written...

...more like my 'last' words to everyone I had known.

The unfamiliar scene that silently played firstly threw me into confusion, but it took me some moments to process what was actually happening.

My family had stopped me from doing something incapble of turning back, and I had cried to sleep in their affectionate embrace. There in my dreams, instead of nightmares, I encountered Lynn instead, to which I was... joyful of. We were able to briefly exchanged thoughts with each other before she had gone away... far into somewhere unknown... and where I couldn't reach her easily.

Despite these things, I still remembered the way she teared up as she smiled genuinely.  Before that though, she had thanked me for what I had done... even though I haven't make a move yet. All I had done was keeping a fragile promise of moving forward and accepting what had happened in the past. Even if I haven't started it, I finally was able to let my true feelings out to her, and meet her for one last time.

It was one of my wishes... and it was granted.

To sum it all up, I had said my farewell properly, and now... I have to come to the conclusion that it was the time to accept the bitter fact that Adelynn Whiteside was no longer here. It seemed so difficult, but with her encouragement, I probably could do it... or at least make her see that I'm trying my best. I didn't want to make her worry about me anymore...

However, for sure, I'm not going to forget what she had largely contributed to me, especially back in those days.

Other than that... Lynn had told me that I should start opening up my mind little by little. Probably what she meant was... she wanted me to throw off my stubbornness and start listening to what all my friends and family suggested me: telling them about everything that had been bothering me and asking help from the professionals.

It was... indeed the truth.

All my personal problems were pressuring and heavy that I couldn't go through them alone. I had attempted to do so, rejecting all of their assistance, and ended up crumbling to pieces. As a result, I could think of only one solution on how to end the suffering... before my sister came and told me that there were much more ways. She would guide me through those solutions, if only I allow her to help me.

Well... I wasn't really used to getting help from anybody, unless under circumstances, where I was forced to work with someone, such as a group project. I wasn't a fan of receiving assistance from other people, especially troublesome things. Even during my shifts, I would always request my manager so that I could work alone. With this, I always thought thay there would be no conflict since no one was ever involved.