Labyrinth | ✓

f i f t y - n i n t h ♂️

...

...

Right now, there was nothing I could despise other than myself.

I continued blaming my own fear of death, otherwise I could have easily jumped into the sea. All of my tries failed because I was too weak to ignore my feelings from overwhelming my thoughts. A strong-willed person will simply hop off, even with one's attempt of interference. I was just... too sensitive and emotional of everything.

"I don't know whether you should keep living or die. It's really sad seeing you being so damn pitiful. Either way, you're still a pathetic excuse of a human." Something grumbled inside my head. I didn't take heed of it and ignored its insults as best as I can. I have to stay strong, until I finally found the courage to do it.

Meanwhile, I was trailing behind Rena as we headed for the bench just straight ahead. I tried to stay behind, keeping some sort of a distance, but Rena always waited for me to catch up somehow. Whenever I looked at her, she would just give me a small smile, and of course... I have to force myself to return her the favor, letting her know that I was fine. Please don't let her find out... or else... this will be a big mess.

As Rena made herself comfortable on the spot she had chosen, I decided to settle close to her, so that she wouldn't suspect anything. I leaned against the bench and just looked down to the ground... like what I had always done. Rena seemed to relish the blast of nature, but I couldn't enjoy it any longer, even when I was supposed to. After all, there was no purpose if I kept messing everything up.

Again, nothing pretty much mattered anyway.

"The sky's really looking g-gray, don't you think...?" Rena suddenly began, feeling her eyes on me. "I think it's gonna be all cloudy the whole day, so... g-guess there will be nothing to see in the skies tonight."

"Yeah." I simply agreed. Clearly she was trying her best not to drown us in awkward silence, but to some extend, I wasn't alone. She was pretty much seeing the colorless scenery like I did, but the next comment she created caused my heart to slightly drop for no reason.

"Honestly I don't really like cloud days, but I have to admit f-finding this view quite appealing." She had her attention to the open sea as it thrusted its choppy, tall waves against the helpless shore. "The nature noises just made it ten times better."

Despite my reaction, I wasn't completely surprised. It was typical of Rena, she loved finding some positive factors or the beauty even in the ugliest, unsightly things. She just accepted  people so easily, despite all their wrongdoings and flaws. At the thought, the heaviness inside of me multiplied, which caused a slight wave of nausea to linger around.

"You really should be enjoying this, Ed." Rena turned her attention on me. "I mean... you had gone through so much yesterday, so you need to use this time to clear out some of your stress... and just r-relax."

"I guess so." I blatantly lied, fiddling on my hood strings. I couldn't even relax anymore, even if I wanted to. My body was entirely stiff right now, and no matter how much I wanted my muscles to loosen a bit, they refused. My mind was clogged with too much thoughts that not even this place could clear it away. My stress level... well, it was better if there were no related questions asked.

"A... Anyway, wanna get some ice cream?" She offered, and she stood up from her seat. "I think there's a stand around here somewhere, but I-I don't know the exact place..."

"No." I refused, shaking my head. "I'm not in the mood for eating. Besides, my breakfast this morning was big enough to sustain me until the afternoon."

"Y-You sure? It will be a refreshment, and it will make you feel better." She tried to convince. "I w-would love some
ice cream as well."

"Yeah, I'm good." I locked my gaze with hers. "...Sorry about that."