Labyrinth | ✓

s i x t y - s e v e n t h ♂️

Therapist.

My parents never thought the word 'therapist' will be coming out of my mouth, and in fact, they never expected me to be talking about it. They both gave me incredulous, funny looks, especially Father. They were sitting by the couch, seemingly waiting for me, and now, their movements completely ceased. Meanwhile, I stood here, in a great suspense, waiting for them to gradually respond.

Well, I didn't blame them for that. If I was one of them, I would think and do the same thing: what caused Edward, who is known to hate therapist, to suddenly step forward and agree to be treated?

As Seb and I talked some more earlier, I had announced him my decision to consult with the therapist as well. He had the same exact reaction as my parents. He even asked me whether I was being myself or not, and even attempted to laugh it off. It took some time for me to convince him that I was, indeed, serious and that... I really wanted to get better. When he finally believed me, he was more than happy, and wished me the best of luck.

The difference between him and my parents was, he had a faster reaction compared to them.

Come on, say something... Don't leave me hanging like this... I mentally begged. I was really tired of being thrown into these kind of 'awkward silence' situations.

Father was the first one who was able to recover from his shock. He flew out of his seat and strode towards me so fast that I didn't manage to catch it. The next thing I knew, he was standing in front of me, holding my shoulders. He slightly lowered his body down so that his gaze was on the same level as me.

"Christopher, are you... alright?" He instantly interrogated in disbelief, and his flashing eyes expressed intense concern. "...What's wrong? What makes you say that all of the sudden?"

Sigh... another explanation was needed for this one, but I quickly understood how they feel.

"I'm fine, Father. Nothing's wrong. It's really my decision." I dismissed, and now I have to clearly explain them. "I know it might shocking how I changed my mind, but I actually considered about it. I thought about how all of that stuff... nightmares & panic attacks... were mentally affecting me so much. I had underestimated them, and in the end, you're all right. I couldn't handle all of those things by myself, and I ended up being a mess. And by that time... I realize that I really have to get better and stop beating myself up to it. I realize that I indeed need help..."

As soon as I finished with my explanation, Father appeared so stunned and speechless. He had never seen me being so... open before, and heck, even I found myself being astonished and somewhat impressed by my own words. Despite so, I still couldn't compliment myself for it... since I have yet to do what I had claimed. 

"I'm sorry." I apologized, struggling to raise my voice so that it could be audible. I gripped both my hands together. "I'm sorry for all the mess that I had caused you. I'm really sorry that you have to see all of that. I wasn't in my right mind. I... I do really wanna get better, Father."

"Oh, Christopher..." Father sighed, then he proceeded to slither his arms around my body, embracing me tight. "If your sister wasn't there to stop you from comitting such a horrible act... I couldn't even imagine what will happen next. You really should think over the consequences of doing that... because once you did it... you're never going to turn back, and you're not going to see all of us ever again."

I didn't give any comments, as the feeling of guilt began to overwhelm me. I silently acknowleged what he had said and simply buried my chin on his shoulder. Honestly, I didn't know whether I should hug Father back, and since it would be awkward, especially in front of the others, I decided not to carry out any actions.