Labyrinth | ✓

t h i r t y - f i f t h ♂

10:38 PM.

Idiot.

When I was in middle school, I used to think I was surrounded by idiots, both boys and girls alike. Such idiocy might be due to their raging hormones, narrow minds or simply lack of intellect. I never engaged in any of their perverted, idiotic conversations; after all I preferred to be in solitude. I sometimes sat and ate alone during lunch, and fortunately, none of them seem to care.

However, as I moved further in high school, I began to realize that people around me were not the only idiots. I was one of them, but if I were to compare with the others, I would instantly take the cake. My idiocy was what had cost me everything, including stripping someone's innocent life away.

That's right, I'm an idiot, but I don't care what the others think. I was a different idiot from the others: even when others told me it wasn't my fault, I still blamed myself for... her death a year ago.

The silence that lingered through every corner of my room was extremely dense, I could hear my own breaths escaping into the air above me. I could even hear my own heartbeats, although they weren't so clear. Background noises included the ticking of my clock, and the sound of my AC. Crickets were chirping outside, but the curtains somewhat softened them.

I was lying on my bed, staring blank at the ceiling. When I felt the need to move, I shifted my position so that I was facing my own room. My eye blinked as its gaze landed on the closet, which was slightly left open after I changed my clothes. I usually kept my childhood things in a box and hid it there, having no intention of throwing them away. As a result, I abandoned them.

Sure I didn't want to see them, but what kind of shit did I keep?

What things do I possess during my younger times?

The passing question induced curiosity within me. After all, I rarely checked its contents; I was too busy drowning in my own business. The only object I remembered being there was my old Nintendo DS. I played it with Rena almost a week ago.

I guess this was the perfect time to check them. For no reason, I found myself clenching my own fist. Even better, this is probably one of the few ways how to 'accept the past'.

I pushed myself up off the bed, groaning inevitably. Brushing off my hair, I carefully ambled towards the closet. I opened the doors and glanced down, where the box, containing almost everything from the past, was. Taking a profound breath, I reached out and pulled the box out.

...but, why am I taking it out as if I didn't know what's inside? I abruptly stopped halfway, my hands were still holding tight on the box. Why I am so hesitant...?

Ugh... Whatever. Stop being doubtful and just grab the fucking thing. I shook my head continuously. Tightening my lips and berating myself, I instantly drew the box out of the closet and slid it beside me. There's nothing wrong with checking this. It's not like something's gonna pop out of this thing and kill you.

I gently opened the top of the box, and the first object that showed up first was the DS. With a gulp, I took the DS out and analyzed it for a while. Obviously, this was the DS I had been using since I was pretty young. I would always bring this up while with my friends and showed them all the games I bought and played. They were all mostly Pokemon, though.

"Oh my gosh, Ed! I just noticed that you got a new DS!" A childish voice echoed out inside my head. "It's so cool! It's also larger than your old one!"

"Hehe~! I scored A in my math test, so my parents bought it for me!"

... so my parents bought me this due to a math test.. huh... What an incentive. I mildly placed the DS aside. I didn't remember when exactly I got this, but surely it was a long time ago.