Labyrinth | ✓

s i x t y - f i r s t ♂️

A/N: This chapter contains triggering scenes. Read at your own risk.

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11:39 PM.

...

...

I couldn't stand being in here anymore.

I got tired of sitting here... waiting until the time was right, but throughout the entire day, it never came. For no reason, Lu had always visited my room in two or three hours interval, making sure whether I was really normal or not. I couldn't just go straight for it because... I just felt someone would suddenly break in and catch me red-handed... and there will be no more chances.

Forcing myself being as normal as I could was pressuring the shit out of me, crushing everything sane that remained in me. In turn, it caused me to become vulnerable and fragile to all the voices I had been hearing.

The piercing headaches grew unbearable, and my brains were on the verge of bursting. Well, not that I mind, anyway... in fact, I was just counting the time for it to explode. My eye was the definition of being inflamed and dehydrated, and its glands had probably dried out from all of my random breakdowns. Hell, it didn't produce any more tears when I cried barely minutes ago.

The entire house had gone mostly silent, so my parents had probably fallen asleep, although I could hear muffled noises coming from Lu's room, which was located beside mine. Sometimes, her laughter was audible, so I assumed she was watching some anime shows.

Despite so, I had a strong feeling where she would come here without me knowing, so I didn't dare to make a move. I had turned the lights off and I had locked the door as well, so she will think that I had already gone to sleep, but still, I never knew. She could knock anytime soon...

I buried my face on my pillow, which was still moist from my tears that it excessively absorbed. I had been lying on my stomach as well, and I haven't moved from this position for a few hours, so most of my muscles were numb.

"...Stop being a coward and do it. There's no one around to watch you, and your sister's too busy with her shows she had forgotten about you." Chrissy snapped, as his small but powerful fists continuously slammed against my back, but it didn't affect me at all. "Seriously, you're spending the day doing nothing useful but to lay there moaning about how you had enough. Well of you had, then do it. There are a tons of chances, but you're just there letting them slipped by."

"...I... It's just that... I couldn't find the right time." My voice was so faint I couldn't even clearly comprehend the words that came out of my lips. What was worse, I didn't even know why did I bother answering this... boy that didn't even exist at the first place. "...and... well... there are still people around..."

"Right time? The heck, everything is a right time, idiot. Now is the right time. No one's even watching you, they're too busy to care about you. Then you're there wasting time, crying like a baby." He snapped. "You're just giving so much excuses so that you won't have to confront death. Scared of it, aren't you?"

I remained silent as I found myself breathing heavily. Of course it was the truth... I couldn't find words that could rebute the argument. I clenched both my hands against the pillow and remained still like a statue.

"Ugh! Why don't you just do it now?! My patience's growing thinner!" Chrissy's punches against me grew stronger, but I shouldn't fall into the temptations. "Stop wasting time! Do something! I'm tired of waiting!"

And so do I.

I know how that feels.

I was tired of waiting as well. Regardless, I couldn't put myself into some major risks, especially with Lu still awake, and her being on the other side didn't make it any better. There was a high chance she could hear everything, so, it was completely dud. Maybe, I have to try doing it tomorrow...