truly, teddy ✔️ [unedited]

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dear ivo,

mum didn't know that i knew. she was always crying and acting scared while i acted as if i was still in the dark. spring break was filled with tears and late night trips to the coffee machine.

after a week and a half (spring break was two weeks, thank the good Lord) and about ten cups of coffee per day, i finally felt like i could state to mum that i knew. it kind of made me mad that mum still hadn't told me. but hey! she had her reasons, right?

it was the last day before spring break ended and mum had just finished a hushed call from the doctors in her room. i opened the door, not even bothering to knock.

"i know."

those two words made the phone drop out of mum's hands. "wh-what are you talking about?"

"i know what's wrong with me. when were you going to tell me? when I was old enough to understand?"

"i-i," she opened and closed her mouth like a fish.

"save it, mom. this is happening to me, not you. i have a right to know what this 'sting' thing is!"

she sighed, not saying anything. the tears were spilling onto her cheeks now.

"well, what is it? what's a 'sting'? what was wrong with me when i was little?" i was yelling now.

"i have already told you that your kidneys weren't connected to your blather so you couldn't pee on your own."

"yes, i know, mother." i was getting frustrated. "what about the sting. what's that about?"

"you had to go through so many surgeries, teddy. we couldn't fix you; nothing would work. then a doctor found a substance that they thought would work. they wanted to test it on you, teddy. they didn't even know if it would work or not. they said there was a 50% chance that it could kill you."

she paused, taking in a shaky breath. whipping the tears from her face, mum continued. "they wouldn't listen when i said i didn't want you to go through with it. but they took you anyway and pumped you up with this substance. they called it it 'the sting'.

"two weeks ago when you went into the doctors for the MRI, they saw that the sting was still in you. they did some research and later on, after your sting surgery, the doctors had pumped up an old man with it. he ended up going crazy and killing himself along with his wife and daughter."

what?

"so i could become a serial killer because of this sting stuff?" i asked.

she nodded. "headaches was the first sign the man had. nausea was the second. the third and last one that lead him to kill himself was hallucinating."

three strikes, you're out. but this time it was three strikes, you're dead.

truly,

teddy.

{a/n: so the sting is actually real. i'm basing this story on my own experiences but changing them a little. things that are in my life but i've changed for the story:

1. i actually had kidney problems when I was young. i didn't change that.

2. i got a surgery at three and the doctors pumped my bladder with what they called the sting. it can't harm you. it didn't do anything to me so i'm not going to become a serial killer okay? but i felt like changing it to making you go crazy bc i can.

4. i've been having headaches nonstop for three months now. they're like a constant friend. i've been to the doctors many times and my doctor said it's just bc i don't wear my glasses. she said that if they don't go away after a month of wearing my glasses, then i could either have a tumour or have diabetes. (help me, i'm so scared)

that is another reason why i don't want people to take this idea. it's kind of a little personal to me and i would like to keep my life in my hands, not some other author trying to get more views (which doesn't work btw. someone always finds out).

update july 14: it was just my glasses guys. i'm so happy!!

love and coffee machines

-august