truly, teddy ✔️ [unedited]

94

dear ivo,

i hated crying. it made me feel weak. like i wasn't in control of my body. like i had to cry to make everything better.

and it wasn't like i was crying because of dad. i knew he wasn't coming back no matter what i did or say to him. he would never come back and i got it through my head the moment he sent that letter. he wasn't sorry. he wanted to do those things. and he wasn't forgiven either. i don't think i could ever bring myself to forgive him for what he did to me.

nor was i crying about you. well, i was crying about you but in a different way. it was hard for me to decide wether or not i should cut, if cutting was the answer. maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. but you - or rather the boy in black - made it quite clear how happy cutting made you when you had the happiest smile on that i've ever seen as you cut your flesh open.

maybe cutting was the answer. maybe it could take all this away. the pain, the suffering. when you have lost so many people, it's hard not to loose yourself.

truly,
teddy

-

almost at 2.2k. thank you so much guys. i love you so much :)))))))

vommare and stay sexy okay? okay

-august