truly, teddy ✔️ [unedited]

111

dear ivo,

it's my birthday today. i can legally drive now without a parent. what sucks is i don't have my license yet.

even though it was my birthday today, doc bell still wouldn't let anyone come see me. i screamed at him about how he was being unfair to me. he just shrugged it off and then i got really mad and started throwing stuff around the room.

they tried to restrain me but i still kept screaming and kicking around. i wanted bell to hurt like i was being hurt everyday of the past three and a half weeks. he needs punishment.

they put me in a straight jacket, ivo. i couldn't move. i couldn't do anything. it was even hard to breathe.

after hours of just sitting there in a mirrored room, just staring at myself, someone finally opened the door.

jake came in with a paper and pencil. he said he couldn't get the straight jacket off me so he'd have to write it. i feel stupid saying the things that are meant to be private out loud but it has to be done.

i miss mum, ivo. i miss dad. i miss ty. heck, i even miss ray, that little brat. but most of all, i miss you.

what a great way to spend your sweet sixteen, eh? being locked up in a crazy room, not being able to move.

it was the icing on the cake when jake told me i'd have to stay the night in here.

"will you stay with me?" i was on the verge of crying.

"i'll try, teddy," jake said.

in the end he had to stay. it was either that or i be put in a deep sleep.

he sat down beside me and held my hand. he had to stick his hand between my armpit because i had my arms crossed. but the little contact comforted me.

after a few hours, he began to pull away. i quickly said, "don't leave me jake. i don't want to be alone again."

he looked up at me from his sitting position. the sincerity was clear in his eyes. "i'll never leave you, teddy," and then he wrapped his arms around me. even though i had a straight jacket on, i could still feel the heat of him through it.

i began to cry. and then jake was crying too.

"why are you crying?" i asked him.

"because it hurts me to see you in pain."

we both held each other and cried until our lungs gave out. we cried until it was just silent sobs raking through our bodies. we cried until the door opened to breakfast; cold cereal and stale bread.

and when we looked at our puffy red faces in the mirrors around the entire room, and man we were a mess.

truly,

teddy