truly, teddy ✔️ [unedited]

93

dear ivo,

i dreamt of a paradise just out of my reach last night. it was beautiful; everything I could ever want. behind the gates, i saw glimpses of what i could be in this wonderful paradise. i had you by my side, i had jason and ty laughing along with me, all four of us playing truth or dare. i even saw that i could be the music producer i had always wanted to be. but it was just out of my reach. the moment i stepped closer, it would fade away. i'd step back and it would come into view again.

and so it stayed like that. i couldn't get closer to the paradise I wanted so badly. there was no way i could get in when it just kept disappearing on me.

no way? oh there's a way, teddy. you just have to figure it out.

an image of me laying down with a bloodied arm and a smile on my face came to mind. a voice said, this, this is how you get to paradise.

I had to cut myself.

truly,

teddy