What Others Don't Know- Phanfic

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

^There is the smoothies Phil makes later in the chapter. If you want the recipe I'll have it at the very end of the chapter!^
Phil's POV:

    I walked down the pavement with Dan, still smiling loads because of the fact that I made him smile in moments prior. "So, how did you keep it a secret? The feeling reading, I m-mean." Dan asked as we walked, the morning sun beginning to grow warmer as it hit our backs.
    "I don't know. In all honesty, I'm kind of surprised I managed. As a kid I'd asked someone 'Why are you so upset?' or something like that and I think they just assumed I was good at reading people. The majority of the time though, if you look at someone, really look, you can tell what they're feeling. Everyone has tells. It's not necessarily that you have to be some amazing profiler, just pay attention.
"For example, let's say someone took Pj's—" I saw Dan flinch out of the corner of my eye at Peej's name. "Sorry." I said quickly. He simply shrugged.
    "Uh, where was I. Oh! So, let's say someone took Pj's phone and was texting me, pretending to be him. I'd be able to tell because of the emojis used, how many, the way he texts, if he puts the emojis before or after his text, etc." I said, listing them off on my fingers as I talked about certain tells.
    "That's cool. I've always kind of payed attention like that as well. So, while you were a kid you eventually noticed other kids didn't have the abilities you did and just kept quiet?" He asked, nodding along as I spoke to show he understood.
    "Well, yeah, pretty much. I remember talking to this one girl, Gracie I think? We were in pre-school and I had gone up to her and just said 'I'm sorry for your loss' because she felt so sad and I felt bad for her. She replied 'How did you know?' and I asked her what she meant. She replied, again, with 'I didn't tell anyone about it. My grandpa died this weekend..." and just because of the way she acted, the way no one else knew... I don't know I just- I just knew I was different. Do you know what I mean?" I spoke, scavenging my mind for the best way to put a life's worth of thoughts into words.
    "Yeah. I ki-kinda get it. I dunno. As a kid, my dad was going through a
d-divorce. I think he had depression as wel-well at that time, I'm not sure. But after asking him if he was okay he would always say he was fine. I could hear his thoughts and say 'But that's not what you're thinking. Why are you lying?' and o-obviously thats not normal, to know what someone is thinking. At first I think he assumed I just read his facial expression or something. But, after a while, he, along with my mum, b-began to notice. I would know what I was getting for Christmas and things like that. I've learned to tune out thoughts, thankfully.
"It w-was a real pain learning Santa wasn't real before I even had the chance to enjoy the thought of him. It was also a bit annoying to pretend I still believed in him around kids from school, not that I had many friends except for him." Because of his emphasis on his last word, I knew who he had meant.
I nodded. After another few minutes of comfortable silence, Dan started to walk to the left. I looked over at him, confused, and I realized we were at his house. "Oh! I didn't realize we had arrived already." I chuckled a bit.
    We walked up the stoop and Dan took his house keys out of his pocket. "So, since I can't remember the last time you were here, let's count this as the first official time you've been to my house, yeah?" He said, sounding genuinely okay.
    I nodded, beaming at him. "Yeah. Sounds like a plan." He unlocked the door and we walked inside.
    Dan took his shoes off so I did the same. "Where should I put my backpack?" I asked, glancing around. Just as I asked this Dan began to set his backpack down at the base of the stairs. "Oh, never mind." I said, laughing.
     "So, what do you want to do?" He asked looking around his house, clearly trying to muster up an idea.
    "I don't know, what are my options?" I asked, walking over to the couch and sitting down.
    "W-Well, I've got movies, video games, board games, or we could just listen to music and t-talk while we scroll mindlessly through Tumblr." He said, chuckling a bit at the latter one.
    I laughed a bit as well. "I think I like the 'music, tumblr, and talking' option the most." I said, using finger quotes.
    Dan laughed. "Can I get 'music, tumblr, and talking' on a t-shirt please?" He said pointing at his shirt.
    "First of all, (you're freakishly tall it's weird you look like a
noodle—I'll stop😂) it should be on a jumper for a prime browsing experience. Secondly, was that a Sherlock reference?" I spoke, trying to sound very serious and dreamy at the first part but laughing at the second.
    "...Maybe..." he replied, smiling a bit once again. "Ugh! It's so nice having someone to understand my references!" He exclaimed.
    I simply continued to smile at the fact he was smiling. I also noticed he was beginning to stutter less and less as we talked more and more. I hadn't realized I was silent and staring at him with a huge grin on my face. He tilted his head as if asking what I was doing. I snapped out of it. "Sorry. I've just never seen you... out of school, I guess."
    "Besides, o-of course, when I was completely wasted." He said. He seemed to be as surprised as I had been that he had said that, clearly not liking to talk about it in the middle of a conversation or joke about it. A splash of surprise colored his face but he quickly wiped it away, leaving no trace.
   "It's okay Phil, I'm not going to freak out by mentioning it." He reassured me. I sighed and he did too.
    "So, do you want a snack? Or some breakfast, I suppose, would be a bit more appropriate." I asked, gesturing towards the kitchen, followed by standing up and walking into it. 
    I didn't hear a response from Dan. "Dan?" I asked, as if pressing for an answer my calling his name.
    He walked into the kitchen after I called his name. "I'm honestly not very hungry." He stated, sitting at the island and shrugging. I looked at him as if saying Really? "I had a big breakfast!" He defended himself from my questioning look.
    "Oh really?" I said, gesturing towards the empty sink, meaning there was no dirty dishes.
    He shrugged, looking down at the island in front of him. I walked over the dishwasher and opened it. "Empty." I said, looking back at Dan and closing it. As I walked over to sit on the black bar stool next to him I heard something. "What..? What did you say..?" I asked.
    "I-I'm sorry." He said glumly, moving his eyes from the island to this hands in his lap.
    "Dan, it's fine. Honestly. I can't expect you to be better instantly. It happens gradually." I said, putting a hand on his back reassuringly.
    He simply lowered his head even further snd didn't respond. I sat there with him for a moment. He mumbled something again. "What?" I asked once again.
    He whispered something under his breath that sounded almost like "Speak up, fucking freak." And then looked up at me. "The issue is, I don't want to get better, Phil." He said, looking at me. I looked back at his eyes that were no longer glossed over with tears but definitely puffy with the crying he had been doing earlier at the swing set.
    "It's okay. You will be okay one day, you'll want to get better. I promise." I said, rubbing my hand on his back again.
    "Yo-You... promise?" He said, his eyes dark, bold, brown eyes bearing into my blue ones.
    I nodded in response along with "I do." We sat there for a few moments, looking into each others eyes, until Dan blinked and I giggled, looking down and feeling my face burning.
    "So, I think I owe you some breakfast. And it's going to be so yummy you won't be able to resist." I said, smiling at him as he beamed back at me.
    "That... that sounds nice. Thank you." He said in a slightly timid voice as I went to his fridge.
    "Don't worry about it." I said, looking over my shoulder at him and opening the fridge door. "You should go into the living room and sit on the couch so that whatever I make is a surprise!" I suggested, glad to have a fun idea.
    "And what exactly am I supposed to do while I wait, Chef Lester?" He asked in a mocking voice, still beaming.
    "I dunno! That's your problem, Howell." I said, shrugging and laughing. "Start a movie or something. Oo! How far through Sherlock are you??"  I asked urgently, as if the fate of the world depended on him answering quickly.
    "Er... I think I just finished season one. I binged all three episodes in one. night." He replied, giggling a bit. I found this positively adorable and had to put all my strength towards not smiling like a dork.
"Perfect! We'll start season two!" I said, putting my arms up and if I'd just won the Olympics. "Oh, by the way, I've already seen it all. I just finished season four about a week ago. Seasons five is coming out in January, though! So you can start it, no need to wait." I said as Dan turned round and walked into the living room.
I did my best not to ask Dan where a certain ingredient was so as not to give away what I was making. I had to once or twice though due to the fact that I positively could not find it.
"So, Lester, you can cook?" I heard Dan say from the living room. I laughed a bit.
"Yes, Howell, I indeed can. I've got two mums. One can cook, the other cannot. The one who cannot typically drags me into it so she's not the only one there who doesn't know much about it." I heard him chuckle a bit from the living room. "Only issue is, over the years I've become better at it. So, now it's just her who doesn't know how. Although, I wouldn't exactly call what I'm doing cooking..."
At this, Dam felt even more confused and curious. I chuckled to myself again, taking note at how much we had both been laughing while in company of the other.
About ten minutes later, I put what I'd made on top of a tray (aka cookie sheet because that's the best I could find) and walked out into the living room. On the couch I saw Dan sleeping in a fetal position, facing the tele. Setting the tray on the table, I wondered how the blender hadn't woken him up due to the fact that I'd made smoothies. I was also quite surprised he even had all the ingredients.
I sat down on the couch next to Dan. I looked at him for a bit, taking in each detail of his face. After a minute or so I overturned his arm and looked at his wrist. "Why?" I whispered aloud, knowing he couldn't hear me anyway. "Why would someone so perfect do this to themselves?" I said, so quietly that even if he had been awake he probably wouldn't have been able to hear. I sighed and turned his wrist back round again.
    For the next ten or fifteen minutes I watched the show. I laughed a bit at the way Sherlock had been dressed in Buckingham Palace. My laughter seemed to have woken Dan, because he was stirring.
I scooted a way, but not much. Just so that he didn't think I was sitting to close when he woke up. We had, after all, just started hanging out that day.
"Mmm." He groaned, beginning to sit up. "Phil? I didn't mean to fall asleep... Sorry. " he stated, fully sat up now and rubbing his eyes.
"Don't worry about it. It's not a problem." I said, smiling at him to show it really was fine.
"H-How long was I sleep for?" He asked, taking his hands down from his eyes and moving them into his lap.
"Hm, not long. Half an hour, maybe? You looked like you were in quite a deep sleep, after all I used the blender and you didn't wake—" I was cut off by Dan. He stabbed his finger towards the tele.
"Pause it! I dont want spoilers!" I laughed as his lunged for the coffee table, grabbing the remote and pausing it. "Phew." He said, pretending to wipe a bead of sweat off his forehead.
"Anyways, I made smoothies! I hope you like them... I was surprised I didn't wake you with the blender and that you even had all the ingredients for them." I said casually.
"Thank you, Phil. I doubt you even know this, but it's easier to drink rather than eat. I'm not sure about others, but it is for me at least." He beamed at me, for the millionth time in the passed two hours or so since we've been together
"I'm very glad. And yeah, I didn't know that. I just made something simple but uncommon all the same." I said, shrugging
"Well, thanks." He said, picking up his cup, holding it in two hands and taking a sip. I picked up mine as well. "Ya know, I can't believe I'm saying this but, I'd fancy ditching Sherlock and enjoying some music, tumblr, and talking  instead." He said, taking the remote and turning off the tele.
"Yeah, sure. I'm good with that. Wanna go upstairs to your room?" I asked, preferring the music, tumblr, and talking over Sherlock as well.
"Yeah, sure." He replied. I thought of his response the last time I had said a similar statement and smiled to myself in amusement. Why, Phillip, you aren't planning on taking advantage of me in this state are you? He had slurred at me. "What are you smiling about Lester?" He asked, smiling at me in return.
    "Oh, nothing." I replied, shaking my head a bit. I took his smoothie from his grasp. I felt tingles spread up my arm, to my back, and throughout my whole body as our hands touched for a brief second. Phil, do you have a crush? I thought to myself, continuing to smile in amusement. I placed my smoothie on the tray as well. Standing up and picking up the tray. I gestured with my head towards the steps, indicating we should go upstairs.

    A/N: Hello! Yes, it is I! I'm not dead, even though I've been gone for ages. I tried to write a bit of a longer chapter to make up for it. By the way, here's the recipe for the smoothies if you want them:

I've never actually tried them but I'm sure they taste good. I simply wanted a picture of smoothies for the purpose of the story, and it just happened to be part of a recipe. If you want to go to the website instead here's the link: 

https://damndelicious.net/2013/04/26/greek-yogurt-berry-medley-smoothie/

    Also, in case you didn't know, "tele" is what they call the T.V. in England. (Or at least as far as I know) it's pronounced telly if you couldn't tell. So, I suppose that's all for now. Congrats on making it another day in life. Break molds, think, create, but most importantly, stay alive, lovelies❤️|-/

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