What Others Don't Know- Phanfic

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

Dan's POV

My dad slammed the door behind him and went into the living room area, sitting on the love seat. Assuming that's what he wanted, I sat on the couch and looked at him expectantly. After a moment I looked down at my feet, not feeling comfortable making eye contact with him.

    "So, you're gay" was what he finally said after what felt like hours of fear and suspense.

    How do I respond? I'm not gay. I'm kind of gay, but not entirely. "Uh, yeah. Yeah sure." Fuck, I sound like I'm trying to be a smart-ass. Whatever, to late now.

"What do you mean 'sure"? You trying to be smart?" He spoke in a very angry tone of voice.

"No, no. I'm not."

"Yeah, whatever. Well, you're not gay. This is just something social media has projected onto you. When I was a kid, we didn't have all this gender crap. There were boys and girls. Girls liked boys, and boys liked girls. Now that social media is this huge thing, everyone's thinking—" I couldn't take anymore of what he was saying.

"The only reason nobody talked about it when you were my age is because everybody was scared! Scared of people like you! It isn't a decision, it's who you are! You don't just wake up one day and think 'Hm, I think I'm going to be gay from now on! It'll really annoy my mum and dad! I'm going to do it simply for attention and to bother them!' It doesn't work like that! So just stop!" I was shouting now. I could feel the burn of tears running down my cheeks. I didn't bother wiping them away.

"Don't you raise your voice to me, boy! You're not my wife, don't act like you are. Got it? Kids don't yell at their parents. OKAY? I YELL AT YOU, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND."

"NEWSFLASH, DAD: WHEN PEOPLE GET MAD, SOMETIMES THEY YELL! YOU'RE DOING IT RIGHT NOW!"

"THIS IS BECAUSE YOU NEVER COME OUT OF THAT BLOODY FUCKING ROOM! ALL YOU DO IS SIT ON YOUR PHONE ALL DAY IN BED! YOU DON'T HELP OUT AROUND HERE! YOU DON'T DO DISHES OR LAUNDRY. YOU DON'T CLEAN. YOU DO NOTHING." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as if to calm himself down. It didn't seem to have worked. "Now, we're getting off topic. I want you to stay away from him. You got that? You—"

"No. I won't. He makes me happy and it's my life. I'll leave if I have to. I'll pack a bag right now."

"No you WON'T! If you do that, that effects me! That makes me look bad. What kind of parents do you think people will think we are if our son is running away?" Wow. He's not concerned for his son's safety, but rather his own reputation. "As I was trying to say, you're going to stay away from him. I'm apart of a... group. This group knows some things about people. If you don't stay away from him, I will have them after him. They will hurt him. Permanently."

"Are you threatening to kill my boyfriend?! You're apart of a gang? What, like, with drugs and shit?! What the FUCK DAD? YOU'RE JUST SAYING THIS, RIGHT?!"

"Stay away from him. I'm not going to say it again. He, and his family, will suffer the consequences if you don't." At this, I couldn't handle anymore. I turned and ran. I had my phone, I had earbuds. I couldn't stay here. I ran upstairs and into my room. Locking the door behind me, I dashed to my wardrobe. I randomly stuffed pants, a shirt, and a jacket into my backpack. I grabbed my portable charger and ran out the door. I didn't know where I was going, I just had to leave. He didn't chase after me, thankfully. I dashed out the door and sprinted down the pavement.

After running several blocks, I decided I'd go to the park. The place where it sort of began. It wasn't where Phil and I met, but it was where we started.

I can't talk to him anymore. I can't say goodbye. I can't look into those beautiful blue eyes again, or hold his hand. I can't cuddle him in his room watching Netflix. I can't go home. I can't look at my dad the same way. I can't feel safe. I can't feel protected. I can't feel joy ever again. Phil gave me joy and I can't return to it. The joy has been deprived from me. My last hope. There's so many can't's. I can't walk to school with him ever again. I can't kiss his soft pink lips.

He isn't safe with me. I've put him in danger... my father. He's a horrible person. I always had known he seemed horrible. But, a gang? Drugs? Murder, possibly? I couldn't see how it was possible. I can't. I just can't.

    After another block or two, I couldn't run anymore. I stopped and put my hands behind my head, remembering what my 6th grade gym teacher had told me: Do this while walking after you've finished running. It helps you breathe.

    After walking some more, I reached the park after what felt like seconds. There was no one here. Nobody ever came here, as it seemed. I brushed my fingers across the chains of the swings Phil and I had once sat on. This is where we'd began.

    I collapsed to my knees and let out a sob. I ignored the pain that erupted in my knees as they each crashed into a rock that had been in the dirt. I rolled over and curled up into a ball on the ground. I cried and cried. I cried until my voice was gone. I had to stay away from Phil and there was nothing I could do about it.

    I hadn't even realized I was doing it, but I kept whispering "why" to myself. I thought I'd just been thinking it. It wasn't until I heard my voice break (my throat was rough from crying) that I realized I'd been speaking aloud. I didn't care, though. Nobody was around to hear me.

    I hadn't realized I had cried myself to sleep until I awoke the next morning. The sun was bright in the sky and I could hear my alarm going off from the inside of my backpack. Reaching inside, I stopped the alarm and stretched. I felt very stiff. Well, obviously, dipshit. You slept on the cold hard ground.

    I went to the building in which the public bathrooms where. Thankfully, they weren't port-a-potties, but, instead, actual toilets. I changed into my new set of clothes: a gray T-shirt, black pair of skinny jeans, and a leather jacket. There was no mirror in the bathroom so I simply looked into my phone. When I was finally ready, I walked off in the direction of the school. As I walked, I felt a tear slip down my cheek.

    On the way there, I was thinking about how to stop being with Phil. I had too, I just had too. Eventually I decided to just ignore him. If he approached me I would walk away. I had to make him believe I was mad at him or something. I couldn't think of another way to do it.

    Throughout the day, he approached me or smiled at me in the hallways. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I did make eye-contact with him though, once. He looked heartbroken and confused. For once, I was glad I couldn't read his thoughts. I didn't want to know what was going on inside his head. I couldn't.

A/N: GaSp! Two chapters in one night? I know they're both short but hopefully since it's two short chapters it makes up I guess? Haha I don't know. I don't really have much to say. Thank you for 560 reads! It means a lot to me. Stay alive. It gets better tomorrow I promise|-/❤️

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