The Shady Adventures of Fabian

Chapter 34

They made their way back to the entry chamber without incident. Brandon took the opportunity to assess the damage he had sustained while fighting the lizardmen. He was covered in scrapes, scratches, and bruises, but somehow none of them seemed to be too serious. He had been flailing that cutlass around furiously in the hopes of warding off the attacks and it seemed to have actually worked, even though he didn't have much skill with the weapon.

Fabian stood at the entryway of each of the tunnels they had not traveled down in turn and inhaled deeply with his nose.

"May I ask what you're doing, sir?" Brandon asked.

"I'm sniffing, as any idiot could plainly see."

"I can see that, sir. I was just wondering why?"

"Because I've got a nose for gold. That's why. I'm trying to figure out which of these tunnels leads to the most treasure. Unfortunately it's kind of hard to tell because they all stink of pirate."

"Which one do you think Oogums would have gone down?" Brandon asked.

"How the hell should I know? Do I look like I enjoy snacking on rodents or coughing up hairballs? How would I know what makes a cat make the decisions it makes?"

"It's just, you know, that's the reason we're here. Treasure is secondary."

"Well, I have it on good authority that cats are attracted to treasure. So if we find the treasure, we find the cat. Get it?"

"Are you just making this up, sir? I thought you just said you didn't have any insight into how cats make decisions."

"Of course I'm not making it up. I said I had it on good authority and I do. Anyway, I think we should check this tunnel out. With my keen eyes I've spotted a piece of white fur stuck to the wall at about ankle height."

"You're right!" Brandon said. "I think Oogums really did go down this tunnel."

"Never doubt me, Scrote. Or my focus on the mission at hand." Fabian had been going to suggest they go down this tunnel anyway as he thought he could detect the faint metallic smell of gold. The fact that he had spotted the fur had been an unexpected bonus.

They found themselves wandering down a long gently winding corridor. There were torches lining the walls every fifteen feet or so, but otherwise nothing of note. Just stone walls and floors as far as the eye could see.

"I wonder why Oogums came down this tunnel?" Brandon asked. "It's pretty boring. I don't think there's anything here that would attract a cat's attention."

"There is a disappointing lack of treasure so far, isn't there? This is why you never send pirates ahead of you when there's a good possibility of loot. I mean, they are good for setting off the booby traps as we've learned, so I suppose it's good to send one or two, but if anything good was lying on the ground they've certainly scooped it up. But I have a feeling there's something good up ahead somewhere. Hopefully a vast chamber filled to the ceiling with gold."

"And Oogums. The cat we're looking for is hopefully there too, right?"

"Well that obviously goes without saying. Didn't I just tell you cats are attracted to treasure? I'm feeling very optimistic. Very optimistic indeed."

Something cold, wet, and sticky hit Fabian on the hand. "Did you just blow your nose on me, Scrote?"

"No, sir. Why do you ask?"

A wet blob hit the ground between them with an audible splat.

"Uh oh," Fabian said looking up toward the ceiling. "Dungeon slime."