The Shady Adventures of Fabian

Chapter 40

"So what brings you this way, Sir Mikael?" Brandon asked as he took a bite of succulent, perfectly cooked meat.

"It just so happens I am in the middle of a noble quest to rescue a fair maiden," the paladin replied.

"We're on our way to rescue a princess, too," Brandon said. "Maybe it's the same girl. We could join forces!"

"Hey, who said anything about rescuing a princess?" Fabian said with a mouthful of hare. "That broad can rot in the wizard's tower for all I care. No, we're getting that cat and then we're getting the hell out of there."

"What is this cat you speak of?" Sir Mikael asked.

"We're trying to find a missing cat," Brandon explained. "It was stolen by a wizard. He said he'd kidnapped a princess, too."

"Was it the wizard known as Delroy?" Sir Mikael asked. "For that is the name of the fiend I am on a mission to defeat."

"You know I didn't catch his name," Fabian said. "It doesn't really matter. Wizards are all jerks."

"Now that isn't true," Sir Mikael said. "I have known many sorcerers and mages over the years whose character is unassailable. Unfortunately some magic users are drawn towards evil. Delroy is such as this. I do believe he was good once upon a time, but years of the allure of powerful magic have tainted his soul. Now he has kidnapped the princess of Wooglebury and keeps her imprisoned in a tower guarded by a monstrous dragon."

"I'm pretty sure that's the guy we're after," Brandon said.

"This is excellent news," Sir Mikael said. "It will be good to have solid allies in my fight. Delroy is a dangerous mage of great power."

"This is good news," Fabian said. "You can totally distract that guy while we sneak in and get the cat. It's a winning situation for everyone. Plus you can be in charge of catching all the food, building all the fires, and preparing all the meals. Also, you can take first watch. Now that my belly's full I'm getting drowsy again. Those naps were nice, but nothing beats a good night's sleep."

"I would be happy to take first watch," Sir Mikael said. "Rothchild can keep me company as I ensure your safety as you sleep."

"I have no need of sleep," Druvidia said. "I can watch all night and all of you can sleep."

"I don't trust you with my life, lady," Fabian said. "The paladin can take first watch. Then Scrote can take the second watch. Then the paladin can watch again until morning."

"Aren't you going to take a watch?" Druvidia asked.

"Pshaw!" Fabian said. "Obviously I need my beauty sleep. Plus, we're all going to want me to be well rested since we will undoubtedly need to rely on my superior wits to get through the trials and tribulations that lie ahead. I like a solid eight hours. Preferably ten. All right, well, I'll see you guys in the morning." He made his way to his patch of grass and was out cold as soon as his head hit the ground.

He was awoken by a frantic shaking in the middle of the night. "Sir, wake up. Somebody's here. I heard twigs snapping."

"So go deal with it, Scrote. I was in the middle of a dream involving a couple of hot redhead twins. I don't have time for this nonsense."

"But what if it's monsters, sir?"

"Then kill them. Get that paladin loser to help you. Just leave me out of it."

Suddenly a figure dropped from the tree overhead and landed on Fabian's chest. It was a bald man of indeterminate age. He opened his mouth revealing a row of long sharp fangs.