Alpha King and I

Chapter 32: Same Mistakes

My dreams since that day have been filled with blood and bodies. Always surrounded by them. I've only let Cadeth know, but I've kept to myself my attempts at shifting. Now that I know defense magic, the guards don't follow me when I pass the gate and head out, only when I go into town.

I still keep trying to shift. Like today. Alone in this forest again. I've become used to it, comforted by its colder temperatures yet higher humidity. The perfect conditions to quietly lay down and think.

I can't let Cadeth worry. Worse, the festival day is approaching soon. I'm running out of time.
If I don't do this I'll be a failure. I can't fail him nor Develeon. I need to push harder, try harder.

Success is imminent to those with enough willpower, and if I have one true strength it's that.

I close my eyes once more and go to that place. The door. As I open it, it's always different but similar. Normally there's hands and shadows. Also teeth, sharp canines without a visible mouth, just one set, coming at me. Sometimes the hands, shadows, and teeth stab me or rip me apart, other times they pull me down, and other times they just push me out. Each time, I get forced back into reality. I've fought them enough to move maybe a couple of steps past the door, but from doing that I discovered there is a second door. A door colored like the rainbow glass of the Doctor's fake eye. A door I can never reach. No matter what I try. The hands and shadows, the teeth, they hold me back.

Once again I'm pushed out, my eyes open to the empty trees. I let a loud sigh escape as I rip out some grass. It cuts into my hands deeper and deeper with each piece I pull. I've got a leather dress on with my boots to protect the rest of me as I'm sitting. Anger washes over me at my failure. This is all in my head so why can't I control it?

This magic is so frustrating! "Innate", hah.

I growl a little at the thought. My eyes spotting a rakter in the distance. It takes one look at me then sprints off. Even the animals are avoiding me now.

I think that too has to do with the magic. It's like these creatures can detect my attempts at using it. Maybe that's why they're normally more cooperative with the other werewolves who do it naturally without issue. Like breathing, but instead releasing an invisible aura warning everything else to stay away.

The Doctor calls the werewolf magic 'dark', because it comes from what we do and not how we feel. He tells me that's why it has a cost. I disagree, if it has a cost and is from what's real, its closer to humanity than anything 'light' I'd think. Plus, werewolves don't have dark or light magic anyways. They only use dark or light to refer to environments or places. Maybe it's just a human idea. I guess the reactions of animals and seeing the effects of it could make it seem like some type of darkness. But if such a 'light' feeling based magic existed, I don't think it could be done with much good. Right now, feeling as I do, I'd probably be able to do far more damage if I was doing that type of magic.

I pull another piece of grass out. Throwing it, only for it to fly right back into my face. It cuts my cheek. I hold in a squeal, but an idea pops into my head as the pain flourishes then slowly begins to fade.

Maybe if I do a defense spell while I do the searching I'll have a better chance? And I take some of the blood from that one tree, I'll try that. It'll make it stronger. I can take the pain.

I stand up then head over to the "blood tree" as it's called. Its true name being the Marrow Tree. Looking at it, I reminisce on reading the long chapter from the trades book which complained on multiple instances of how the proper name was rarely used. Even Cadeth refers to it as just the blood tree, or the Hyeol. It grows more wild in the very south of the planet, but we have a rare few here too for guests, including this one. Well known and loved by the vampire community and certain other groups, the blood filled fruit is a major source of trade between us and them.

Ignoring what it produces, it really is a beautiful tree. Its shimmering amber color making it hard to miss. Unlike last time, I was more careful as I propped off the fruit. Using my nail to dig a small hole in it. I poured the blood that seeped out from the hole onto my hands, covering them. Then I placed my hands on top of each other, curling in my fingers. They looked like the shape of a poorly drawn beehive.

I moved to a different tree and plopped down. Quick I closed my eyes and went back to my thoughts, deep in my conscious, to that place. I didn't look any different here, my hands didn't show the blood, but I felt unusual. Heavier.

The increased pressure slows me down, but I manage to get to the first door again. As I lift up my hand to the wood knob, it creaks open on its own. It's never done that before. This must be a good sign.

I step inside. Nothing comes.

I step again. Still nothing.

The teeth are here, and the hands, but they are unmoving. The shadows too, to the point where I only see surroundings similar to the night time instead. When the shadows had moved before, it would look more like a pitch black puzzle.

Each step brought me closer to the second door. After a few more steps, I was finally in view.

It was then the pain started to hit me.

Overwhelming pain. Everything was now moving at once. The shadows, the hands, and those teeth all lunged at me almost immediately. The magic I had done in my physical form gave no protection. I could feel each rip and tear as I was attacked from all sides. The heaviness held me down, making it even harder to try and protect myself. The teeth bit into my throat and I screamed. Normally something like this would have brought me back to reality.

This time, it did not. I tried to force myself to leave by willpower, but that didn't work either. More hands came out from the darkness and started ripping at my skin. The pain increased even more. Feeling like reality even if I was still in my concious. I tried again to leave, but I still couldn't. Whispers from everywhere started speaking at once.

'Goodbye'

'Goodbye'

'Goodbye'

Chains wrapped around my arms and neck. Choking me. Burning me.

I'm trapped.

A/N: Chapter 31 woot! Almost 900 reads awesome! Thank you all for enjoying the story. I'm working on having a comic version of it made too. ^^ I'll keep you guys posted on that as it comes. I've already got some characters designed and ready. :D