Alpha King and I

Chapter 34: Failure but Fine

Trying to hold in my impending hurt, I question back, "What do you mean?"

"Please don't ask me that Selese."

I can't hide my hurt anymore.

"Well what do you want me to ask you then?!" My voice is raised, but surprisingly he doesn't react. I stand up too now, not facing him but looking at the grass. It's too late, I'm already crying.

I'm weak! A failure of a werewolf! I can't be a human right or even an omega which is built in me! What's wrong with me?!! 'I'm different.' What the hell is that supposed to mean?! My thoughts escape, coming out as a ramble of words.

"How can I ever get better or stronger if I'm always going with the punches but never knowing where they're coming from, or even where I stand! If I can't know even what I am, then what am I allowed to know to make anything worth it?!" A frown etches his face. The green aura I'm all too familiar with flashes for just a moment.

Suddenly Cadeth steps toward me and pulls me into a hug. A strong enveloping type of hug. The kind you never want to let go from. His warm bare chest heats against my tear-stained face as he presses me further into him.

He whispers growling, "Know that if you ask whether I care that you're different, I'll tell you I don't. How long I've kept it from you? I'll tell you I've always known. If it matters? It doesn't. Your mine and that's worth it to me. " The tears stop, but the ache just increases. The hurt in my chest. I just want to scream. Instead more words come out.

I push him away lightly, responding, "Your true mate; who can't even shift, barely heals, and only brings you trouble. Yes, of course, it doesn't matter Cadeth, and of course, you don't care. Being yours? What other choice do you have since you're stuck with me? I'm just bringing you down. You should ju-" Cadeth puts his lips on mine. A soft but firm kiss. It's cold and tickles a little. My mind goes blank. After what feels like only a drizzle of time has passed, the kiss ends.

He rests his head on my forehead, his body bent down to match my level.

Gently he says, "You Selese, are exactly what I need. No, what I want. It truly matters not to me whether you can shift or not, or how fast you heal. As long as you are you." He's glowing the soft green color again, but this time it does not fade so fast. I can't tell what he's feeling still. Unsure if even his words are sincere. Yet the desire to shift has washed away like getting over a bad cold. The negative thoughts too, become clouded with a different stronger feeling.

Trust.

Though all I can muster back is a simple, "Okay." I want to believe him. Deep inside, I do. Just like how I still have faith even when he keeps keeping things about me from me. He seems to be just trying to do his best.

I'll just keep trying to do my best too.

The hug ceases as I move his hand to my own. Our fingers interlace and we start walking. Each step, going deeper into the forest.

I'm surprised he could say what he did. I could never admit I feel that way about him too. My face is warm from the thought. Embarrassingly so.

Cadeth uses his free hand to pat my head.

"Good." A small grin makes its way on his face. The forest begins to feel drier and warmer than the spots I'm used to. More thoughts on us linger within me.

Maybe he already knows how I feel. Does it show on my aura at times? If it does, he never says anything. His smile looks so gentle. It calms me. I hear the sound of water moving. I didn't even know there was anything like that here.

Cadeth points eastward, "A lake is beyond the Tinsle trees. I'll take you there." I rest my head against his shoulder and move his hand around my waist, making a nod in agreement as I do so. The kiss reappears in my memory. Just as strong as the moments when it happened. I gaze up at his cheeks and notice his face is slightly reddened too. All my work trying to shift, and I felt fine about it now.

Cadeth's right, it doesn't matter. Though one issue does seem to be creeping up from this.

I think I've fallen for him.