Love vs Grind (Langston Higgins love story)

Chapter 58

~Devon

So i'm looking i've been living with my mom for a while and it has been great! I wish I had her around more when I was a kid, but shit happens.

On another note the shit with my dad has been on my mind a lot. I originally was gonna keep it to myself, but I just can't. That shit haunts me at night and holding it inside is making me go crazy.

As much as I hate to I gotta tell my mom, it's time.

I hung up my last little bit of clothes before closing my closet door. I looked at myself in my full body mirror trying to mentally prepare myself for the conversation i'm about to have with my mom.

I let out a sigh and walked out my room and down the stairs. Once at the foot of the steps I could hear my mom singing The Truth by India Arie. We had just got done eating breakfast so she was in the kitchen finishing up her cleaning and I had jusg finished washing clothes.

I made my way in to the kitchen and sat at a barstool.

Olivia: "Hey baby." She greeted my with a smile

Me: "Hey mom yougot a minute to talk?" I asked hesitantly

Olivia: "Yeah what's goin' on?" She asked sitting the cup towel on the counter.

She bent over the counter with her fists under her chin.

Me: "You may wanna sit for this" I spoke rubbing my neck

Olivia: "Oh damn Devon you ain't get Maliyah pregnant did you?" She asked squinting her eyes at me

Me: "No mom just can you please sit down?"

She sighed and sat next to me. My heart was pounding so hardI thought it was gonna jump out my chest and run.

Me: "I don't know how I wanna say this so I'm just gonna come out and say it."

Olivia: "Oh shit Dev you makin me nervous, what is it?" She asked carrying a worried look on her face

Me: "Mom I was molested as a kid." I blurted

Now that it was out it felt like a big weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I don't wanna constantly be thinking about what happened let alone taking my emotions out on Maliyah.

Looking at my mom she looked mad confused.

Olivia: "W-what?" She asked covering her mouth as tears began to form in her eyes.

My eyes began to burn at the thought of what I went through.

Me: "Whenever dad would get drunk or if he was just mad he would molest me." I explained as a tear slowly glided down my cheek "He's also doing drugs again."

My mom just stared at me trying to blink away tears that kept falling.

Olivia: "This is all my fault." She expressed breaking down

I shook my head and got up wrapping my arms around her.

As much as I wished I had my mom around as a kid I would NEVER blame her for what happened to me.

Me: "No mom it's not." I tried to convince her

She vigorously shook her head softly pushing me away.

Olivia: "Yes it is. I saw the signs when we first got together that he would be trouble. But I loved him and being that he went through the same thing as a kid I felt that if I stuck around and showed him what real love was that he would change and it never happened." She wailed.

I wiped my tears while wiping hers as well.

Olivia: "Then when I got pregnant with you I kept thinking the same thing but it just got worse! Baby I should have gotten you out of there sooner and I'm sorry!" She exclaimed with a river of tears pouring out her eyes.

A part of me did agree that she should have gotten me out sooner, but it's not all her fault and I won't allow her to blame herself for this.

Me: "Momma this isn't all yout fault. He is going through some stuff that neither one of us can help okay. All that matters is that you're here now and I couldn't imagine being anywhere else." I said meaning every word that left my mouth

I rubber her back trying to sooth her, she turned in her chair and hugged me. We stood there for a few minutes until she finally calmed down. I sat back down and took a deep breath. My mom finally caught her breath.

Olivia: "How long has this been going on?" She asked with curiosity in her tone

Me: "Since I was seven, it stopped when I was fourteen because I would threaten to call the cops which would result into us fighting."

Olivia: "Why didn't you call the cops?"

Me: "Well he ended up getting a gun and it scared me."

She took a shaken deep breath and closed her eyes and I could tell her sadness was now being replaced with anger.

Olivia: "I'm sorry baby boy. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you mentally or physically. I really wish I could have been there."

Me: "I know mom, but listen. I'm fine, we're fine. And I refuse to let that alter me in any way."

I was trying to move on with my life. I have dreams amd goals that im trying to accomplish and now that I have all of that off my chest I can now do that.

Olivia: "As long as you're okay baby. Bug don't let me see that nigga in person because I will fuck some shit up." She said as attitude laced her tone

I chuckled a little to myself because I never really heard my mom cuss.

Olivia: "Anyway I can't keep thinking about this. The more I think about it makes me wanna  find him and kill him myself. How are you and Maliyah?"

Me: "Good I'm thinkingabout taking her on a date soon its been a while."

Olivia: "That's good baby."

Things got quiet for a while and I  could tell she had something else on her mind.

Olivia: "Have you thought about telling her this?" She asked biting her bottom lip

Me: "Yeah, but... I don't know mom. I'ma think about it a little more."

The thought of this whole thing was making me feel like less of a man and I don't know what YahYah is gonna say or think about this. I just hope it doesn't change things between us and if so then I know things weren't meant to be.

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Excuse any errors por favor! Gracias😘