Two Sides

Interlude

"Please. Please, Rey." 

In the middle of a wide open field, Rey sits cross legged in the cool grass. She senses him - a gentle press on her mind, willing her to respond. He's been asking for an hour now. At first she was terrified. He could still reach her, even after Snoke's death. Which likely means Snoke lied about his role in their connection. It's a relief to know that monster wasn't meddling with her mind. But another now knocks. She's grown more powerful since she last saw him. Now she can block him if she wants to. His persistence doesn't surprise her. His words do. She wonders how often this princeling has ever said 'please.' 

Finally, she decides to take the risk. The wall she's constructed comes down in a heartbeat. He stands before her, dressed all in black. His helmet is gone. He immediately looks behind her. Her pulse quickens, worried she's just made a terrible mistake. He sits in front of her, far enough away that he couldn't touch her if he reached out. 

"I still can't see your surroundings, if that's what your concerned about," he says. 

She can see his, as always, but it's not very revealing. Mechanical lighting against black paneled spaceship walls provide no answers as to where he is in the galaxy. 

"Why are you here?" she says. 

"Straight to the point," he says. 

She holds his steady gaze. There is no denying the element of the cat and mouse game they are playing. She's not sure which she is yet, but it's clear he's made his decision. 

"I wanted to see you," he says. 

"Ben," she says his name, and stops at the wince. "Would you rather I not call you Ben?"

"You're the only one who does," he says. 

"Does it bother you?"

"It's not my name." 

"How should I address you, then?"

After a long pause, he replies, "Ben is fine." 

"Ben, why are you here?"

"To see you. I miss you."

"We just met. You know nothing about me. How could you possibly miss me?"

"I know more about you than you think. And we didn't just meet. I've seen inside your mind. We're not so different, you and I." 

"As it stands, we are literally opposites," she says. 

"Do you see light in me?" 

"I do."

"I see darkness in you."

She recoils at the idea that elements of the dark side reside in her. "We are about as different as they come." 

"I was abandoned by my parents, too," he says. "Handed over to an uncle I didn't know. Left to fend for myself, unable to seek the safety and comfort of a loving family."

"You told me to forget the past. Yet you cannot let it go." 

"Do you know why I came to Snoke?"

She pauses for a moment as he tries to gain control of his anger. "The answer to that question depends on who's perspective you consider." 

"Then hear mine. He came to kill me, Rey. Not even in a fight. In cold blood. That's the uncle my parents left me with. The great Luke Skywalker, Jedi royalty, sneaking through the dark to kill his teenage nephew in his sleep. And when I left, where was I to go? Back to the parents who didn't want me? No. There was no other choice. Snoke made a place for me, and he kept his promises." 

Rey debates telling him about Luke's perspective. She can place herself in Ben's position. She feels the sting of betrayal and the hate that Luke's bad choice caused to fester and bloom. Many have failed this man. And that's what she comes around to every time she faces him. He is broken and angry, and he has a right to be. 

"I'm sorry you didn't have a choice." 

She settles for truth. She is deeply sorry he was treated the way he was. Had he been born a villain, it would be easier to cast him as a lost cause. Snoke took all that was good and soft and kind in him and pressed it deep under a rage he could manipulate. Ben was made into a creature of violence, when he could have just as easily been the prince the Jedi desperately needed. 

Ben chuckles. It's a humorless, hollow sound. "Don't waste your sympathy on me, scavenger. Use it on yourself." 

"Did you try to kill me? When we fought outside of the Starkiller base in the snow?"

She's struggling to learn his facial expressions. There is so much depth to him, so much emotion he doesn't even seem to be aware he's broadcasting on his face. His brows tug together, shifting the jagged cut above his eye - the damage she inflicted in the very event she just asked him about. A physical reminder that the darkness he sees in her may, in fact, be there after all. 

"No," he says, very quietly. "I could never kill you. I might have wanted to, at the beginning, but when it came down to it, I never would. I see what you are. I want you with me."

She pauses, her eyes tracking down the rest of the scar that runs across his right cheek. "I can't. I won't." 

"I know." 

"Perhaps it's best we don't meet again." 

He stiffens, his hands fisted at his sides. "I have to see you." 

She shakes her head. "We've chosen our paths. Now we must walk them, to whatever end." 

She leans forward. He inhales sharply and holds his breath. She reaches a tentative finger toward him and when he doesn't move to grab her, lightly runs her index finger down the scar she made on his face.

"I'm sorry about this." She pulls her hand away before he has a chance to react.

"Now my outside matches what I really look like." 

She shakes her head. "No. That's not what you really look like. Not even close." 

"Rey?" She glances behind her to see Finn running toward her. His eyes are wide with fear. "Get away from her!" Finn screams as he sees Ben. 

Ben glares at him, stands, and vanishes.