Two Sides

Epilogue: After

Rey lies on the cool stones of the beach, allowing the temperature to ease her queasy stomach. She's been nauseous for weeks, and hopes it will pass soon. Never just in the morning, but all day. It drains her, and nothing seems to help. 

As it turned out, there were numerous sparsely inhabited planets in the galaxy to choose from. The one they settled on had an enormous lake, which lapped against a beach of smooth stones. Not a grain of sand could be found. Rey immediately loved it. 

The cottage sits up on the bluff overlooking the lake. A wrap-around deck provides a full view of the sunset over the warm, crystal clear water. It's huge, bigger than anything she could have ever dreamed of, and made of wood and stone. She lived her life in a metal AT-AT. Ben lived the past decade in a ship. It's time they had a break from the cold, unforgiving walls of steel. 

Ben is somewhere close by, cutting down a tree for firewood. He seems to enjoy the low-key existence they've made for themselves. Rey has an old scoop skimmer she works on when she's not napping. Ben cooks, cleans, and fishes. Neither of them have drawn a weapon in months. No one has tried to kill them, they have not been in any critical situations, and no important decisions have had to be made. 

"I disagree," says Ben. He's always there, a quiet, gentle presence in the back of her mind. If she's not careful, she projects her thoughts to him without thinking about it. "We decided to stay here instead of spending the next year with Finn and Rose and the incredible medical equipment that may be very necessary." 

"I'll be fine. And we'll see them soon enough."

Rey was giddy with excitement over the upcoming wedding. She hadn't seen Finn or Rose in half a year, since they settled on this planet and turned their backs completely on the galaxy. She is sometimes tempted to search for the news feeds, just to find out what's going on abroad, but so far, she has been able to resist. 

Just like they had predicted, the galaxy had not collapsed in their absence. She receives monthly communications on the twelve Force-sensitive children they left in the Cooperative's care. She still feels bad about leaving them. 

"We would be terrible teachers," says Ben, dropping down beside her on the beach. 

"I know. But they need more than teachers. We understand them." 

"They need families, and that's exactly what they've got," he replies. "We couldn't provide that for them, no matter how hard we tried. Their best chance is to try to be as normal as possible." 

She ticks off the names of each child in her mind, cataloging all of the concerns the reports had shared as well as the victories. Many of the mute children had begun to talk again, and all of them had been enrolled in school with typical peers. Most have friends. They all have siblings. There isn't any sign of the Force in any of them. Ben did his best to erase their memories of using it. 

"Stop feeling bad about that," says Ben.

"I just don't like that we messed with their minds. And I'm sure they won't when they're old enough to understand how much of a violation it was." 

"What's another dozen people who hate me?" says Ben. 

"If they knew you, the true you, they wouldn't hate you." 

"I'm not that interested in my reputation." 

"You say that," she says, running her fingers through his hair, "but I don't believe you. I think you care very much about what other people think of you, and always have. It's how you were compelled to be so bad."

"Fine. I do care what you think." 

"And Finn and Poe?"

"Absolutely not. Why would I care what those idiots think of me?"

"They're the closest thing to friends you have."

He grumbles and tugs her up. "Come on, dinner is almost ready." 

Since their arrival, Ben has done his best to fill Rey's gaps in culinary knowledge. The dishes he cooks are absolutely divine, and she often has to stop herself before she gets sick from eating too much. Poe and Chewie arrive monthly with supplies, whatever Rey wants. Sometimes they stay for a few days. This is one such visit. 

Chewie had relocated some of the Porgs to the corner of the porch, and they had happily take up residence. Rey hadn't broached the subject with Ben yet, but she hoped to keep some of them. They were adorable.

"No," he says, though she can tell he isn't really going to fight it if she pushes.

"But I love them," she says. "They're so little and cuddly. Please?"

"Anything for you, darling." 

"Thank you." 

Poe smiles broadly when they enter the kitchen, and motions for them to sit. 

"Chewie is fiddling with your skimmer," says Poe.

He reaches behind him and hands her a chocolate chip cookie. Ben eyes him.

"What?" says Poe. "You always eat dessert before dinner. It's good for your health." 

Ben shakes his head, but reaches behind Poe and snatches a cookie for himself. "They're good," says Ben.

"Did you just compliment me, Supreme Leader?" says Poe.

"No, why would I do that?" says Ben.

"It sounded like a compliment," says Rey, wondering if it really is possible that these two have moved past their enmity. 

"I clearly complimented the cookie," says Ben.

"My cookie," says Poe around a mouthful of his own.

"Anyway," says Ben. "How is Rose doing with her wedding planning?"

"Rose isn't doing much," says Poe. "Finn has all kinds of ideas. She just wants to be married. Finn is struggling with whether to have a cake or a dessert bar with a chocolate fountain. I'm sure he'll figure it out eventually." 

"We all do," says Ben. 

Rey leans her head on his shoulder, thankful that in all ways, the dissonant sides of herself, the galaxy, and her relationship with Ben have finally found a place of peace.