The Safe House | TFIL

5 - Just Keep Lying

I rushed outside

Stumbling

Like the tears on my face

I managed to catch myself

Stopping

As I just stand there

My fortress

My palace

This yard was mine

And no one could take that away from me

I didn't want to look back

I knew they weren't going to come and look for me

They never did

I tried to hold back more tears

I closed my eyes

Taking in a deep breath as I sit on the ground

This time I don't stop to admire the blades of grass

Or the frost tinted wind

Or the cleansing smell

No

All I did was bury my face in my hands

Falling into a darkness

As I escape from the world once again

"Rough day?"

I looked up

The fence

Colby

I knew it

Who else would it be?

I quickly wiped away tears on my face

I felt weak

Vulnerable

I felt embarrassed

I shouldn't cry

Guys don't cry

I don't cry

But I knew he saw

Yet

He still made me feel just so safe

He was good at making me feel safe

"You could say that." I chuckled

I stood up

Walking over to him

"Wanna talk about it?" He asked

YES!

God yes!

I wanna talk about it

I want to spill and rant

And mumble and yell

And scream and cry

I wanted to do it all right now

"Nah."

Is what I said instead

Shaking my head

And with that he was gone

Disappearing into his own little life

For I was a mere fraction of it

'Everything will be Ok.'

I lied to myself

I'm good at lying