The Safe House | TFIL

25 - News

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I'm frozen

It's only for a minute

But I am frozen

I am scared and frozen

It takes me a second to snap back

This seems to be happening more often

'Warn me about what?' I'm signing lightning fast

'Warn you that Pete's up, and he's looking for you. I told him you were outside and said I'd go look for you, but he's not stupid. I think he's calling Kate...' Tarron answers

 I sigh out

I groan

Everything just has to turn into a mess!

Everything!

"No...no no no no...." I put my hands up to my head

As I ramble on and on

"Come on!" I yell

Throwing my hands to my side

I am walking in a circle

Around and around

But I can't seem to focus on the faces of the others

They're confused

I know that

I guess we can relate on that aspect

Their voices are drowned out

Drowning

I'm drowning

I did this!

This is my fault!

Come on, Nate!

You had one job!

And you screwed it up...

The voices are popping back in

I don't want them to

But they are

"Nate!"

"Nate, what is it?"

"What did he say?!"

"Nate, calm down! Calm down! What's going on?"

The last one was Colby

His hands are on my shoulders

Shaking me back

As I'm looking away

Not paying attention

Or blinking

But I'm coming back

Once I realize what everyone is doing

I push Colby's hands off of me

He shouldn't be near me

I'm going to mess up his life

Like I do to everyone else in my life

To 

Tarron

Pete

Kate

...

Mom...

I scream

I'm screaming

As I back away

I can't breathe

I'm having trouble breathing

As I back into a wall

And start to slide down

Against the wall

And fall down

I curl into my knees

Into a ball

My safe self

And I cry

I just cry

I'm crying

I feel so weak and vulnurable

Perhaps I am

But it doesn't change the fact that I hate the feeling

I can feel everyone standing around me

But I don't look up

Not even when Colby places his hand on my shoulder

I don't move

I stay still

And I definetly stay still when I hear Colby's voice

His words

"Don't worry, Nate. We can handle Pete." He assures me

I am still

But slowly

 Very slowly

I look up at him

Tears slowing down

All I do is look

Stare

I'm good at staring