serendipity

moving on

look at me
i asked him
but he refused
to meet my eyes

look at me
i asked him
this time my voice
louder than before
i was begging him
one could hint the
desperation in my voice

hesitatingly, he looked up
and flinched at the sight
afterall, i looked nothing like the
girl he once fell in love with

this boy has drained me
emotionally and physically
my face has lost colour
the dark circles which were once
invisible have now become prominent

i want him to acknowledge my pain
maybe he already knows
but chooses to ignore it
ignorance is bliss afterall

i have become tired
the neighbors have become tired
we stay up nights fighting
and each night ends with
you going to the bar
and me crying myself to sleep

i haven't laughed for days
even the people at work are worried
i remember when mumma said
this boy is no good for you

i remember how
i defended you
against the very woman
that gave birth to me

i broke ties with my family
to maintain ties with you
and now realization
is dawning upon me
like a ton of bricks

maybe it is better
if we take some
time for ourselves
keep in mind that
there hasn't been a moment
in which i stopped loving you
the only problem was
i had stopped loving myself

-

it has been three years
since my last letter
my friends tell me that
you have moved on
i am happy for you

what we had was unhealthy
i am glad we moved on
if it weren't for you
i wouldn't be the empire i am today

after we broke up
i went through days
which were actual hell
i couldn't go to sleep
without imagining you besides me
all i did was think of you
every couple reminded me of us

there is a saying that
time heals everything
i find myself disagreeing with it because
they are days when i still think of you
they are days when i can't help but
break down because i miss you so much
but i have come to the realization
that as much as we loved each other
we hurt each other even more
we really are better off alone

afterall
i'm still whole
i'm still alive
i'm still living

you were my first love
and now that i think of it
you were a chapter in my life
that i would love to read again
so thank you for that

- on learning to move on

____________________________

this was really time consuming but i'm happy with how it turned out :") give it a vote if you liked it? and please don't forget to comment, i love you all so much ❤️

also do you guys prefer romantic poetry or poetry about issues that are happening around the world (depression, rape, child abuse etc) please let me know!

love love love - s