serendipity

h o m e

trigger warning: suicidal thoughts.

there are times
when i look in a mirror
and have the urge to
break it in halves
i want to destroy it till
it's nothing but a bunch
of broken shards
lying on the ground
so that i'll never have to
look at myself again

there are times
when i look at myself
in pure disgust and
want to scream because
what a pathetic excuse
i am for a human being

there are times
when i look at my body
and want to punish it
for being so flawed

there are times
when i feel like
pulling each and every
strand of my hair out of
mere frustration because
of my inability to do anything right

there are times
when i feel like
throwing myself in
front of a car because
it's not like anyone will miss me

why do i do this to myself?
why do i keep punishing myself?
why do i hurt myself like this?
why can't i love myself?

my body is my home
my body loves me
why am i so cruel to it?
why is it so hard for me to love it?

tears fell down
my acne covered face
which i had finally realised
was beautiful without me
slapping foundation after
foundation on it

that night
i threw all my razors away
it was the hardest thing
i had ever done but
i am so proud of myself

i want to beg my body
for forgiveness
i want to give it a bath
in roses and fragrances

i want to stand
on mountain tops
and scream to the world
that i am beautiful

i want to tell
every single person
that i have finally
understood that self-love
comes first

i want
everyone else to know
that their bodies
deserve to be loved
first by themselves
and then by everyone else

i want them
to look at themselves
and not think about how
their flaws stand out
but how their flaws
make them who they are
and that is beauty

i want
them to know
that their bodies
are like their homes
decorate it with flowers
make sure to water them everyday
take care of it and love it

remind yourself everyday
i am absolutely beautiful
i will love myself
i will motivate other people
i am enough
i will not give up.

__________________________

there you guys have it! please vote and comment if you liked it and i wanna tell y'all something about this book.

this book is called serendipity which  means something like a happy accident, the goal of this book is to help someone, to inspire, to make someone smile, or genuinely just makes someone's day.

i'm not sure if i have accomplished it but i can tell you that i'm so happy because this book has come so far, thank you guys for voting and motivating me with your beautiful comments, it can not be put in words how much i appreciate it.

love love love - s