High Off Love

"Alice you have to talk to me." My sponsor demands.

I sit in silence. I've been here for a month and haven't said much besides "no" or "shut up". It's been a long, silent, hateful month. The worst part is going through with draws.

Everyone here looks like they have been on drugs a while. I was on meth for three months. My sponsor barley knows that.

"Look you haven't talked to me at all. It's not good to hold your feelings in." My sponsor needs to just stop. I look away from her. "At least pay attention to me."

I stand up and start to walk out of the room.

"Tomorrow is sharing day." She announces to me before I slam the door shut.

I stomp to my room. I look in the mirror. The wholes in my arms are looking not so noticeable. All my clothes are too big from the drugs causing me to loose weight. My dark hair matches my dark eyes. My dark depressed eyes. I use to think my life was dark, now it's not dark is black, pitch black.

I thought getting abortions at age fifteen was dark. No being alone with you thoughts, not talking, reminders everyday that you were such a failure in life, not being able to look at yourself in the mirror without crying is dark.

Who could ever love me like this?

(Hi thank you so much for reading! The chapters ahead will be weeks apart and then later in the book they will be closer, because I just left the boring stuff out that wasn't needed. xoxo please continue!)