High Off Love

Chapter 38

November 21st

Rachel has been staying with me for a week now. She really likes New York and doesn't understand how I get bored here. We are going out tonight. We have mainly just been touring the city, shopping, went to a museum, and more shopping.

"So I met this guy." I finally tell Rachel.

"Is he a butt head like Toby?" She walks in the living room and joins me on the couch with a bowl of popcorn.

"It wasn't Toby's fault why we broke up, so he's not the butt head. I'm the idiot." I shake my head maybe to rid the thoughts from my head. "Toby broke up with me for a good reason. He made the right decision." I admit out loud not only to Rachel, but to myself.

"Well let me meet this boy!" Rachel stands up from the couch and accidentally spills the popcorn that was in her lap. "After I clean up the popcorn." Our laughter fills the room.

I bend down and start picking up the popcorn too.

"I'm excited go out tonight and get some drinks." Rachel finishes picking up the popcorn.

"With Zack?" I question.

"Yeah it'll be fun! Have you guys slept together?"

"Not only no, but hell no. Although, I haven't had sex in over a month. No, we've only kissed and haven't even like hard core made out. We made out, but not like hardcore. Do you get what I'm saying?" I babble.

"I get it." Rachel giggles at me. "Alright let's go meet him."

I open my door and Zack was just about to knock.

"Oh are you guys leaving? I was coming to see if you wanting to go get drinks tonight." His cheeks turn a little red.

"Actually we were just about to come knock on your door and see if you wanted to go get drinks tonight with us." I explain.

"Hi I'm Rachel." She introduces herself.

"I'm Zack."

"I know." She looks him up and down.

"Ok well let's meet in the lobby at nine?" I confirm.

"See you then." Zack walks off.

"He is so hot. A lot different than Toby. Toby was like cute, but this Zack is hot." I close my door just in time for Rachel to open her big mouth.

"Your crazy." I laugh and walk to my room.

"You should wear this." Rachel pulls out a black dress that slits down the middle, and very short.

"I think that might give him the wrong idea." I take the dress from her and put it back in my closet.

"No.. After we get back you two go to his room and I will come back up here." She pulls the dress back out.

"I'm not ready for that." I look down at my feet.

"How long has it been since you've talked to Toby?" She asks.

"Nineteen days." I bite the side of my cheek.

"It's been three weeks. Your ready, so go shave your legs and put this dress on." She holds it up to me.

I smile and take the dress from her hands again.
...

"You look so hot." Rachel tells me for the second time.

"He will probably just stare at your huge butt the whole night." I check my makeup again before opening the door.

"No he won't. He will be starring at you." Rachel follows me out the door.

We walk to the lobby and see Zack already there.

"Hi." Rachel chimes.

"Let's go." His smile lights up the room.

Just as we are about to leave Rachel starts coughing. She is completely faking. I turn around and glare at Rachel for her horrible attempt of a fake cough. "What are you doing?" I whisper.

"I'm not feeling well." She starts fake coughing again. "You two go along. I will just go turn a movie on."

"No, Rachel."

"Yes, Alice." She goes back up the stairs.

I turn to Zack and shrug. He grabs my hand and leads me to a small bar. "I guess I get you all to myself." We sit down at the bar.

"I guess you do." I smirk. "Vodka please." I order.

"You like vodka straight?" Zack asks after he orders his drink.

"It's my favorite." I smile as the drink is put in front of me. I take small drinks and cherish the burn down my throat.

We don't get drunk, but we do have a lot of fun. The night has been full of laughter and fun.

"Let's go." I finish the last bit of my drink. We've been here for hours, and I've only had three drinks. I think that's a new record.

I latch onto Zack's arm. The roads are still crowded. Horns honking almost the whole walk back to the apartment building.

We walk into the lobby. I start to walk off to the left, but I stop from Zack's hand grabbing mine. "Don't leave." He walks backwards with my hands in his to his door. He bumps up against his door. I giggle from the loud thump.

His dark brown eyes haven't been removed from me. His smooth olive skin pushes up against mine. My hands run through his hair. His lips moving perfectly with mine. We stumble into his apartment. I unbutton his shirt top to bottom. He unzips my dress quickly. His hands move down my hips. They move the same way Toby's use to do on me. As the thought runs through my mind I can't help but think of the way Toby use to kiss me.

I back away from Zack quickly and half naked. "I'm sorry, but I'm not ready."

"I don't understand." Toby's body wasn't perfectly sculpted the way Zack's is. Zack has a six pack and Toby didn't. Toby wasn't fat at all, but he wasn't as muscular as Zack.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow." I zip my dress back up and slip my shoes on.

"What are you not ready for?" I have confused him.

I take a deep breath. "The reason I moved to New York was because of my ex boyfriend. We broke up three weeks ago." I look down at my nails. "I'm not ready."

He lifts my head up with his hand. "It's ok. I'll wait." He kisses my lips.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow." I walk out of his apartment. I don't quite understand why I just did that. I open the door to my apartment.

"How was is?" Rachel sits up quickly from the couch.

"We didn't sleep together." I sit down and put my face in my hands. "I can't keep Toby out of my mind for thirty minutes." I start to cry. "All I want is thirty minutes of not feeling this pain in my chest."

Rachel hugs me and I hug her back. "I screwed up so bad." I think and say that all the time.

"Time will help. First he wouldn't leave your mind ever, now you've gone thirty minutes. Someday, Toby is just going to be a guy you use to date. You will tell your teenage daughter of your first heartbreak and not have any tears. I promise, time will help."